A
female
age
41-50,
*licia
writes:I was abused as a child and every relationship I had after that was purely the men wanting to have sex and once they did they dumped me in the worst possible way. Now I'm dating someone who has never satisfied me during sex and he only wants to see me if he gets sex. There is no foreplay and I don't think my satisfaction is important to him. I never have an orgasm I just pretend. The sad thing is I feel like I deserve being treated like this "no love just sex" coz I have no good qualities. Should I talk to my boyfriend about this or just shut up and take it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2009): first of all, wait until you know a man's true character before you sleep with him…you have to be able to love yourself before you can let anyone else love you…i'm sure you have good qualities…everyone feels crappy and down about themselves every now and again…you're not alone…always remind yourself of what you do have and that it could always be worse…try focusing on the positive, rather than the negative…be proactive…do something kind for someone else without expecting anything in return…little acts of kindness often help a person to feel better inside…try not to think negatively about yourself b/c that isn't going to get you anywhere…you'll just continuously start feeling worse and worse inside
as far as your man…tell him about how you feel…if he truly cares about you, he'll want to listen and he would want you to be happy…those are such BASIC foundational priorities in any relationship…he should be respectful and loving towards you…if he can't even hear you out, then move on…you're wasting your time with this guy if that happens…happiness is not something that you should have to earn from someone who you care about
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2009): You do not deserve one bit of this.
Women with your past DO NOT deserve this treatment. He's not worth it. Please on't put yourself down like that. Your worth so much more than men like that.
-The first thing you need to do is to drop this man. What kind of person would deserve to have a guy like that? Not you, that's for sure.
-The next thing you need to do is love yourself. Everything about you. Everyone has good qualities, and yours are there somewhere, even though you don't want to find them.
The worst thing you could do is to shut up and take this crap.
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A
female
reader, AuntieMx  +, writes (14 January 2009):
Woah stop right there miss! NO MAN ON THIS PLANET should treat any LADY like this. Especially with what has happened in your past. He is not worth it girl, if he is just in it for the sex and no pleasure for you?! get rid. you WILL find the 'right' guy one day. Never put yourself down like that, everyone has good qualities! May sound stupid but you need to spend some time with yourself and try and discover any talents you have :) everyone has them. You never no, join a club and your perfect guy may be there! Just never stay with a guy for the sex. Your worth so much more.Good luck MFx
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