A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Firstly I want everyone to know that this wasn't planned it just happened. I'm a uni student and to make some extra cash I began babysitting for a local couple.They're a great family but the father, who is 28, I was told was a bit of a player. At my birthday I invited them to come because we got on really well, the wife couldn't come because their other babysitter pulled out at last second, so the husband came alone. I got pretty drunk and he offer to drive me home. ( He spent most the night with me cos he didn't know anyone) When we got in the car he put his hand on my knee and told me he really liked me, And also that I reminded him of his wife before they had their daughters. Like I said I was drunk but I know that he said those things. And to make things worse I kissed him after he said them too. The kiss turned into a something more but afterwards I felt sick with myself. I've thought about telling his wife to get it over with, and quitting babysitting, but I really love the girls, I can't stop thinking about it. Please Help, it sounds like I'm a homewrecker but im not, really I'm not!
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male
reader, pope732901  +, writes (14 February 2008):
 Quit the babysitting and don't tell his wife. If you tell his wife, what will it add to you?You will only wreck their home. But if you insist, WHY DID YOU KISS HIM AT FIRST?
A
female
reader, Dawnie +, writes (11 February 2008):
 You made a mistake under the influence of alcohol, you also are mature enough to realise what you have done. Normally i would have very harsh words for anyone involved in cheating on a spouse, but you seem genuinely sorry for your actions and were drunk. Don't babysit for this couple again, you need to now be out of their lives.Also don't tell his wife as i'm sure he will wriggle out of it and turn it on you. Just be careful in future. Use this as a valuable lesson and learn from it.
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (11 February 2008):
 I agree with with the others said. Quit babysitting and don't tell the wife, he'll just manage to turn it around on you and say you seduced him!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 You committed a grave mistake even though you had no intentions to be a home wrecker, but you became a victim of circumstances due to alcohol and close proximity with a man.
The only way you can carry your head high is to quit your job and work for another couple . You may sometimes drop in and see those girls as a friend .
You need not confess and come clean before anybody except to God.
You need to forgive yourself and do not be too harsh in your own judgment. Something happened because of those circumstances which was beyond your control.
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A
female
reader, shandygirl  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 I would NOT tell his wife if I were you.
I have been in situations that other girl's husbands or boyfriends were attracted to me and actively after me. I never did anything, but I felt that the women should know, so I warned them about their man. EACH and EVERY time, the woman blamed ME, because in order for the man to save his own neck, he would say that it was ME after HIM. So therefore, the women were very hostile to me. Even if I was their loyal friend, looking out for their interest. Geeze...go figure...eh?
You on the other hand... DID do something, which would make their reaction even worse. You could get hurt.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): Hi, your story sounds very similar to one I have been through.
I was 16 and had new neighbours in the street, I spoke to them a few times and was taking my dog out one day and they asked me to look after their house and pets whilst they were away. All was fine and I did. On their return, it became a bit of a habit for us to take our dogs out together but the woman of the partnership often stayed at home, they also were very grateful for my help and kept inviting me round, anyway one day I had an invite round and when I got there, the woman wasn't in. He kissed me and it went further, then this 'affair' went on for months,then, I told his wife and hell broke loose. As I expected I was the bad guy and some how he came out looking squeaky clean. I wish so much that I had just told him that I could no longer go round or take the dog out with him and stayed well away. Trouble is then he wud have got away with it.
My advice to you would to cut all ties, the girls will get over it and would only hate you if they found out the truth eventually. As much relief as it would be to tell her and get it out, you will only end up the baddy.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 February 2008):
 I agree with Midge, tell them you have to quit sitting for them but do not tell the wife about your slip up. She probably already knows what a cad her husband is and will deal with it in her own fashion and in her own time. Good luck and be very careful when you go out partying in the future.
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (11 February 2008):
 I take my hat off to you for being mature enough to have a consience about this. Not many people your age would.
You are going to get a lot of different responses to your question and only you can make the final choice as to what you do.
I can only give you my personal feelings on the matter, so you can either ignore it or take my advice.
If I was in your shoes, the first thing I would do is tell them that you can no longer babysit for them, however you would be happy to take the little girls out sometime. I would no tell his wife as it could turn into something messy that you really dont want to deal with. In any event, if he is such a player, his wife will find out soon enough from somone else.
You have made a mistake, you just need to learn from it now. It sounds like you have and that you have your head screwed on the right way!
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