A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with him now nearly two years and when we first met he told me there was better looking girls out there than me. I was very hurt over this and very insecure and worried and everyday rang my friend for advice she kept telling me he was only telling me the truth and that i was very shallow and that i was wrong and he was right. So then i thought ok i'll stay with him as we got on very well outside of this. Then after like about seven months of me constantly been insecure contstantly worried he told me it was just super models he was talking about then a few months later he said he was lying to me the whole time that he thought i was the best and only said there was better looking girls cause he was afraid to get close in case i hurt him. He said he lied when he changed it to super models he said he did this cause he was afraid i would get paranoid about every girl out there. He said he said things not knowing i'd take it so bad. Now Then he said he sees girls he finds good looking everyday. Then i asked him is it there bodies too and he said no. Then last week a few months later he says yes he lied he sees women everyday that he finds good looking and there bodies hot and sexy that he notices if there bodies are hot and sexy......... i feel like every so often he drops bombshells i had aked him a few months ago is there anymore bombshells and he swore no this is it. He turned around last week and had another bombshell.... he is wrecking my head and i'm worried and insecure everyday feeling i need to ask friends etc for advice i'm so confused and worried he says im the best but i find it hard to trust him after all the lies.He told me last week he see's goodlooking girls everydays and sees whether they have hot sexy bodies or not. should i break up with him?
View related questions:
insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): Firstly, males are stimulated/attracted by the visual, females are too, but to a lesser extent. Don't sweat it - their looking at girls is like a reflex - half the time they don't even know they're doing it.
Mind you, it used to annoy me when I'd be walking along the road with my husband and his head would be flicking from left to right as though he was watching a tennis match - he wasn't looking at a tennis ball, but at every attractive female that came within sight. Do you know how I cured him of this annoying habit? I waited until there was a really gorgeous guy walking towards us, then I really stared at this guy, and turned round to watch him as he passed us, at the same time I said a breathless, "Wow!" My husband's reaction? He said "Oh, for God's sake!" and stormed off in a huff.
As I like to remind him, "What is sauce for the goose, is sauce for the gander."
I take it, though, that you are constantly nagging this poor guy about looking at other girls, and does he think you're pretty? You're digging a hole, and if you keep digging very soon you won't be able to see daylight.
So what if he sees girls every single day who are prettier than you - how many guys do you see every day who are better looking than him? Are you contemplating leaving your boyfriend anytime soon for one of these hunks you spot? No, of course you're not.
By the same token, your boyfriend should be trying to make you feel good about yourself, not feeding your insecurity.
Can I suggest you have a day out with your girlfriends, go to a spa, have your hair done, buy a new dress. Do something to make yourself feel good.
You will completely wreck this relationship if you continue to obsess about this. Try to banish these negative thoughts and do something to make yourself feel good.
|
