A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A guy down the local keeps on starting on me - getting in my face and demanding I do stupid things for him and coming over and interrupting my conversations by taking the piss and he's really threatening. I've never spoken to or seen the guy before but he's friends with most people in the local so they half back him up because he usually does it when they're not around. I'm mid twenties and thought bullying was a thing of the past! I don't know what his problem is, I've never been mean to or offended anyone and I'm afraid this will escalate and something will happen... who knows how bad! I'm worried, really worried about it and it's playing on my mind constantly...
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male
reader, The old Man?  +, writes (27 January 2009):
 First of all, I'd find someone who knows him, yet someone you can trust, a mutual friend. Explain to them what is going on. Maybe have him talk to others discreetly. Then, sometime when the bully is there, go to the bar, get two beers, one for you, one for him. Go to sit beside him, give him his beer. (make sure the person/persons you spoke to are present) Point blank, in a calm and rational voice, ask him, " what have I done that makes you act toward me the way you do"?Don't play tough, but don't be a weasel. Just stand your ground!It's all about attitude, and how you carry yourself. I am not a large guy,I'm 5'10 170, and have been in your situation. I have found that when a smaller guy stands up to a larger guy in a rational way, says what he means and means what he says. There usually is no longer any problems! He pushes you around, because you let him. I have resolved many issues with diplomacy, a firm voice and a firm stand, and have avoided what could have become violent situations.The reason I mention keeping the guys that you talked to close, is that YOU are calling him on his behavior. YOU are standing up for yourself. They are there as witnesses that you didn't try and start any shit, but calmly and rationally spoke to him! If he gets out of hand, HE will be making an ass of himself in front of his friends!I hope this helpsJoe~
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): I know it sounds daft but yes bullying is not just a school issue. It can happen anywhere - and basically the advice remains the same - tell someone! First thing i would suggest is talk to the landlord or a regular barmaid/man - you might find that he's like this with other people and he's all talk. They might even offer to keep an eye out and if he is trouble they might be prepared to stand in and stick up for you. Also talk to your mates - either the ones in the pub or someone who doesn't know him. Tell them its really getting to you and your worried. Finally if it does get bad then go to the police - no one should make anyone feel threatened and they are there to protect you - if he's really bad he might even be known to the police. Good Luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): call the police if it escalates…it could be a federal offense…sounds like verbal assault to me…what an immature ass
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (27 January 2009):
you know what you can do. go and report him to the police! he can't get away with it. don't let it become bigger then you, there are too many freaks out there with weapons these days. you don't want to get yourself hurt.
contact the police!
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