A
female
age
36-40,
*elsiwe
writes:i had sex with my causins husband. i feel bad,cause i respect him and he is not over my causin. my causin past away last year june and he is still single.i help him by cleaning his house and do the washing every friday. he also gave me his spare keys,so that i can be welcome. i am woried about whather he will want more sex from me or he will just leave.i know its not good,but we did not plan it.we were alone in the house and chatting then we ended up in bed.what should i do and how must i cope. how will i go back and clean the house,cause we had sex for the whole night. how will things be between us?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): dear OP, you have written in many times regarding your feelings for your cousins husband. so you having sex with him did not just happen. it was planned either knowingly or unknowingly. so be honest about this sex thing. you have been cleaning his house and doing the maids job for this man. does he even pay you to clean his house, and now sex to add to the freebies! you claimed to be in love with this man in previous posts so what now. only you and this man can work out the dynamics of the new relationship. is he using you? does he think you can warm his bed as a side item. how will the rest of the family view your relationship? are there any kids involved? do you know what you are doing. his wife died in June last year, you have been working as his maid for the last year and now you are sleeping with him. one year of mourning and he moves it on with his wife's cousin? becareful others may see you as taking advantage of him during his "mourning period". how has ne dealth with the loss of his wife? has he been seeing other women? what is acceptable in your culture/faith? time for some serious and honest questions you need to answer.
A
female
reader, johannabanana  +, writes (18 July 2010):
 I think maybe it's best you keep your space. He isn't over your cousin and you don't want to make things complicated sex without commitment never ends well. And what if you want more from him but he only wants you physically? You deserve more from him. Give him space if he doesn't talk to you for awhile check up on him and see how he is. If he tries to make a move on him simple tell him you don't want to cross the boundries with him when he is grieving. Later on if cares about you he will make that clear.
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