A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, just looking for some advice... I've been living with my boyfriend who is from another country about 3 years and everything (I thought) seemed to be going smoothly. We have talked often about having kids in the future. However last night he dropped the bombshell that he wants to keep his earnings separate from now and he can't see me in his future as he'd like to have kids in the very near future but with someone from his country. I've been to visit his country several times and whilst I am not fully fluent in his language I have made my own efforts to learn it (with hardly any help from him). I always assumed that when we had children, he would speak to them in his language, I would speak to them in English allowing them to be multi lingual. He however says they would be unable to speak his language properly if they didn't hear it from both parents. We had already agreed that and kids we had would have names from his country and we would take them to visit frequently. So basically I'm being told it's either all his way and drop my language or he wants to go find someone to make kids with who is from his country. Without going into details, I have given up and done so much for this man and it's like he's just chewed me up and spat me out. It really hurts and It has damaged my self esteem.What do you think guys???Advice please? :(
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 March 2011):
 I agree with the Anon female, the language thing is a cop out.
I don't think he really wants to either marry your or have children with you. HE DOESN'T SEE you in his future, that right there should tell you all you need to know.
Time to leave his sorry ass.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): I think the language thing is a bit of an excuse. He wants out and that's basically it. I have friends, couple of different nationalities and their kids speak both languages fluently - no problem. So he is looking for difficulties. You say you have made sacrifices for him - he sounds demanding and self-centred. You are young and should not have to bend over backwards to make a relationship work. The omens are not good and I would think of moving on as soon as you can. There will be someone more suited to you out there.
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