A
female
age
51-59,
*wilson
writes:1. I have been on anti depressants for the last 8 yrs, on and off.2. I haven't had any anti depressants for a few months.3. I don't know if I'm down because I haven't had any meds or if I'm down because of my day to day life, or if it's because nothing has changed in 8 yrs.4. I don't want to go on meds again because then my feelings will be numbed and not solved. 5. I will find out the results of my cervical screen test on Friday, and part of me wants the results to be positive so that I can get out of this pain.6. I wake up tearful, spend my day angry and tearful, and go to bed dreading the next day. I shout at my husband and kids all the time, in fact I think my kids think this is who I am, always angry and sarcastic. 7. I don't feel love for my husband, every day is me trying to respond to him with a smile which I put on and don't feel. I know he doesn't sympathise with depression, he thinks you should just 'Deal with it'.8. I think if no one spoke to me all day I wouldn't talk at all.9. I work nights twice a week - on my way to work I cry, and when I get into work I feel really sad, but once people start to talk to me I thaw out a bit. 10. What can I do to change this? I am nervous about approaching my GP as in the past I have not been back to get further prescriptions and I don't want to go back on pills again - I don't think they are the answer. When I do start on the pills again everything feels better, for a while, and then I don't feel the need to talk to anyone, and so the problem doesn't get resolved. Please help me.
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