A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've recently been getting closer to this girl I met at school. We have known each other for about 5 months now and for the past 2 months we have spent a LOT of time together. She has a boyfriend of 2 years and up until a week ago I thought that she wanted to just be friends with me. Now, we see each other about 5 times a week and that doesn’t include the classes that we share. A couple days ago I got a message from her saying that she wanted to talk to me. So the next day we spent about an hour talking and she said that she is thinking of breaking up with her boyfriend, that she has been feeling physically sick because she doesn’t want to hurt her boyfriends feelings when/if they break-up, and that they constantly are getting in fights over the smallest things. She also had said that he boyfriend had been talking about getting married and that scared her, and when she thinks about the future she doesn’t see him in it. My best buddy, a male, has been hanging out with both me and her and he has noticed that she has been showing signs of wanting to be more than friends with me for the past 3 weeks. And he thinks that conversation I had with her was a way for her to gauge my reaction of her breaking-up with her boyfriend. He thinks that she doesn’t want to dump her boyfriend until I show her proof that I like her, mainly because he believes that she would rather stick with her current boyfriend than be with nobody.Last time she came over, we just watched TV and it got very awkward. We sat there said very little and she kept stating that she was bored. She made it clear when she came over that she had to leave at a certain time but she ended up staying 40 minutes longer, even though it was incredibly awkward. The way I see it, if we wanted to be just friends, then why did it get SO awkward.Now for the advice part. Do I continue to act like a friend and wait for her to resolve the issue with her boyfriend and then go from there? Or should I make an advance when the time is right? Or should I ask to talk to her and ask her to define our friendship/relation? Or any other Ideas? Any advice would help.I apologize for this being such a long question but it is one that has been bugging me for the past week. And please take into account that I don’t want to lose this girl from my life. She is beautiful, smart and sooo fun to be around, so I don’t want to make a move and end up ruining our friendship. Thanks.
View related questions:
has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, HopeLoveFaith +, writes (15 February 2009):
If she does break up with her boyfriend, make a move. It seems as though she's waiting for you to make the move. When you said "she kept stating that she was bored", this was basically screaming that she wanted your attention.
Don't keep your feelings in, you'll never know what happends. I think you should casually call her over and tell her how you feel. Tell her if she doesn't want to have a relationship with you, that's fine. And then say that you'd still want to be friends with her. That will show that you truly care about her. And if she says she's interested in you, well congrads!
Good luck to you.
|
