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age
30-35,
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writes: Well I'm a little lost.. I don't know what to do with my ex boyfriend, I really like him ever since 2/3 years already we were an off and On relationship but now that he has left to another state we have tried having a long distance relationship but it didn't last... Now I have told him that I don't want to lose him as a friend neither that I already lost him as a boyfriend but I don't want to Lose him as a friend... He will not be back near me in a year or 2 and i made my mind up that I have lost him.. However it's been hard to forget him.. I've got no interest In any other guy like it's so hard looking at a guy and thinking it will really work out with him. What can I do to forget him? We talk on the phone for a long as time that sometimes it seems that stuff can really work out but I know it won't... I don't wanna sound stupid but, Me or him calling just makes my day, hearing his voice gets me lost and happy. How can I forget him without cutting contact with him.. Cuz I really want him to be in my life..
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): The question is do you want to forget him? Coz it seems like you still have a lot of feelings for the guy (Not that there's anything wrong in that, it's just an observation.) I think maybe keeping in contact as pen-pals or over the internet may be good. You didn't mention his age, but the likelyhood is that he's still young and still has some life-changes ahead and the same is true for you. By keeping a regular, friendly contact with him it 1-keeps you informed on each other without having such massive emotional triggers (his voice etc.) and 2- it keeps you on his mind! When college is over and you're both adults with jobs and stuff you can maybe mention starting a relationship again if you still want to, but unfortunately I don't see any quick-fix for this problem. Sorry... In the mean-time though, just focus on developing and getting to know yourself as a person, nurture your skills and enhance your identity. Even if this guy isn't for you it'll still help because, lets face it, you aren't like a 60 yr old who's husband's run off with a McDonald's worker, you're a young woman with your whole life ahead! You have lot's of opportunities ahead of you and by being a complete unit within yourself it will really help you to make the best decisions in life, whereas being tied to a guy from a young age can make you mould your choices around HIS goals instead of your own. In a few years time, while you've maintained a good friendship through letters/whatever, you'll truly be a very attractive woman who he'd be a fool to turn down, but if you don't find yourself and find what YOU want to be in life and what your goals as a person are first I'm afraid it may be hard for you to get him interested again... That's just my opinion though.Good luck! :-)xx
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