A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with this guy about... 6 months now I think. I'd known him from school but we got talking online, realised we knew eachother, had a lot in common and exchanged phone numbers. We'd been texting a lot then met up. Things have been going well. The last few months have been brilliant. He'd usually be the one to text first or ring just because usually he was awake before me. I enjoy getting his early morning random texts and random phone calls, brightened my day but. But since Christmas things have changed. I haven't seen him at all. I've had to text him first which I didn't mind because he would reply. But then I'd text and get no reply or I'd get a one line reply. Then he'd surprise me and reply to my texts a few times which would make me feel better. But then it stops for a few days. Then the only thing I can think of was he was out a few times over Christmas, don't know if I'm being paranoid but wondering if there's maybe another girl or something. I don't expect him to be in touch with me all the time. It's just things have definately changed and I'm wondering why. He hasn't been well the last few days and I'm worried about him. I've text twice today asking if he'd let me know he's OK but I've got nothing. Just a "yeah, I'm fine" would do but nothing at all.I'm not texting again now. I've tried all week and don't seem to be getting anywhere except for the odd text here or there. I asked last night and this morning if I can see him soon and he hasn't responded. I'm struggling though because I love him and I miss what we had. I'd like for him to say if it's over and I've asked him if he can just tell me that so I know why, what's happened. But he won't tell me. So I'm sat around wondering what it is I've done wrong to him because I can't think of anything, everything was brilliant before Christmas.I don't want to give up before I know but... what else am I meant to do? I'm not sure anymore. I'm trying to not text him again, I'm going to leave it till some time next week to see if he gets back to me but what do I do if he doesn't? Because I'm really not sure if I can just let him go without knowing, I still have really strong feelings for him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2009): hey..
i know exactly how u feel..i had been dating this guy for a year and everything was fine until Christmas week. It ended up where i had to be straight with him and ask (on new years eve) what the problem was, why he was being so distant and why he had started to back away. The whole day he would not answer me and then i wasnt with him for the 12am celebrations, but at 11.45 i got a text. "There is no point bringing bad past into a new year. There is someone else. I have tried for a while to choose between the two of you, and i have finally made my decisions. So it can start off a good new year for both of us. Happy new year. We will be happier apart.x" I thought that sort of thing only happened in movies. But it was true. You have got to talk things over with him. There is no point being nicey-nice to you when it seems the truth is, and you seem to know it yourself, there could be another person. If he is being distant with you, and your relationship has lasted this long, ask him what he wants from the long relationship, and let him know exactly what you think. It may not be what he wants to here, but let him know that you feel you are being given up on, and that it hurts, it's really not a nice feeling. Try not texting him gfor a day or two to see if he texts you. Then break the mould and tell him, the four dreaded words, "We need to talk!" Good luck petal! Hope everything turns out better in the long run!x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009): God help us all if text messages become the only means of communication in the future.
Why don't you actually TALK to him? That's what phones were designed for when they were first invented. You know - you actually SPEAK into a phone. Then you listen to him SPEAK back to you! It's much more satisfying to talk to someone on the phone, you can detect by the sound of their voice whether or not they are pleased to hear from you. You can spend an hour texting what it would take three minutes to say in conversation. No doubt it would cost less as well.
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