A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 17 years old and have been with my bf for about 6 months. I really like him but every so often it's almost as though he's gone off me but anytime I ask he says everythings fine. I feel like I'm just paranoid but a lot of the time I text him first and ask him to meet up, though he does sometimes. He doesn't text his friends or anyone a lot so he isn't usually a big texter. The thought of us not going out hurts a lot and just seems strange. Sometimes he would be off for a couple of days like be short with me which causes me a lot of worry and upset. I don't know what I should do cause the number of times I've asked if everything is ok he's had plenty of chances to tell me if something was up or break up with me of that's what he wanted. I really don't want to break up with him, the thot of him with someone else is just unbearable but I don't know what to do cause it can't go on like this. Any suggestions?
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female
reader, meowmeagan  +, writes (30 June 2010):
Sounds like he has some underlying issues that probably do not have anything to do with you or your relationship. When my boyfriend gets upset or annoyed, he just needs his space and gets over whatever mood he's in by himself. Some people need others to help them get through problems or moods but some people would rather be left alone. He may just be a moody guy with a lot of worries, issues, etc. and does not feel comfortable talking to you about them. If this is causing you a lot of pain though, I'd advise being a little more firm the next time he gets into a mood. Tell him how you feel and don't let him just dismiss you. People can only take so much of situations like these though and although it may hurt for a while, possibly breaking up with him may be the best tihng for you to do. You need to think about your happiness, despite your love for him. I know it may hurt, but if you do choose to move on, you will find someone. Be firm though first, talk to him and don't take no for an answer. Let him know you are there for him.
A
male
reader, RealityChecker +, writes (30 June 2010):
The attraction you feel for someone else, does not guarantee an equal attraction or interest from them. Right now, that "goal of being shown love from this guy" is so completely useless for you to worry over. At this age, you should be focused on yourself your own empowerment of who you are as a person and absolutely never let another person "define" you. I have to keep going back to how old you are, because youre at the verge of adulthood and are seeking out the things that define you as an adult. A boyfriend is Not it. This is such a critical period for you, becuase you can either screw things up really bad for yourself making this relationship too much of a "Serious Issue" in your life rather than the more important things like doing well in school to help pay for college so you can get a decent job that pays well, and youve done it for yourself. Coming from a guy that as a teenager used to think the relationship was so important and now realizing 15 years later that I didnt have the slightest clue what was best for me. Its unfortunate that older people cant simply warn younger ones about it without stepping on their toes, but every single person that has reached 25 has come to the conclusion that they did not know a damn thing about what they wanted or where they were going at 17. And many,,MANY regret the mistakes that come with taking a teenage relationship too seriously. Because the effects of those decisions, will be with you the rest of your life, and thats really the only sure thing you can bank on when it comes to teenage relationships. you can seriously screw up your personal best interests, you know, that love you have for yourself that matters above all.That relationship could have you pregnant and alone because teens want to force themselves into adulthood and garner the respect from other teens as to how far theyve gone. but none of that matters at all when you are trying to pay bills on your own and got a little mouth to feed too. My niece got pregnant at 16, they were sooo in love, and about 6 months later were already filing for divorce and he ended up not having what it takes as a man inside himself to DO as a man should. Why? Too---young!!, no experience handling real-issues, thought he was a man because he was having sex, she thought that was the pinnacle of what "love" was. so very sad. People can "act" like it all they want, and can use their relationship with someone as a "look at me, im all grown up" factor within their friend group. But I will tell you this, 10 years from now not one of those people's judgement of you including your boyfriend is going to matter one little bit. This period in your life is all about you right now, and you can screw it all up so bad, by getting pregnant, getting an STD, giving these "childlike" issues so much power. I really, really wish you could stand in my shoes for a day, and see for yourself how little any of this will matter to you in the future. Unless you make the wrong decisions with it.What you will do IS go on! Unbearable? puh-leeeze! try having a teenager husband thats now a daddy and dont have a damn clue as to what, when or how hes going to become a man to handle it. Theres a great comparison you should try to consider. Will this "boy" be a good man as a husband, and exhibit care and concern to do the right things? Or, is he like every other young teenager boy looking to put another notch on his belt. Dont let yourself get so deep into this, that it makes you forget who you are, and what you are trying to do for yourself right now.
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