A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, I have a friend named after a car.Yeah, that's my way of telling you his name.We've been friends since..mmmm..maybe 7th, 8th grade. We weren't really close 6th grade. I've had girlfriends and boyfriends along these few years, I'm in 11th grade now.My problem is this - we've been closer over the last two years, especially since I moved back. I like him, a lot, but I'm still split over my very first love. I'm torn between moving on (it's been a couple of months) and the mere fact that this is my best guy friend and I don't want to ruin it.At the same time, I want to be with him..But he annoys me sometimes and I'm scared that maybe he thinks I'll have sex with him because he knows I did it with my last boyfriend. (and that was my first time thank you very much)But I don't want to have sex, for a very, very long time if I can manage it..the idea scares me again for some reason due to past issues.Anyways, I've started liking him as more than a friend (he's always liked me more than a friend). I even kissed him two times when I was hanging out at his house for the first time a couple of weeks ago. He makes me laugh and I like being around him, but, I'm scared.I'm scared if we got together, I'd break up with him because it wouldn't feel right and he'd get on my nerves or try to hint he wants to have sex.I'm also merely scared of love - I had my heart broken and I'd rather not experience anything near love again, in fear that I could be torn apart once more. My last boyfriend was controlling...so it's another thing I fear.And now, to top it all off, he has a girlfriend. I think he's just been desperate to get one for god knows how long. He kept telling me how lonely he was and how he liked me and liked some other people..He asked one girl out and she rejected him, so then he said he'd always have me (which I took offensively.)Then I guess he's been "talking" to another girl, and now they're dating. I'm insanely jealous and mad at him (I don't think he realizes this.)And I had a dream about him, last night.. ._. Not a sexual dream, just a dream where we were together. And I just--I'm confused.What do I do? I don't want to break him and his stupid little girlfriend - I mean girlfriend- up, but I kind of want to be with him...what do I do..?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, I just wanted to provide an update. Since I asked this a lot of things happened and it turns out he really wasn't the guy for me. We didn't date and I'm glad we didn't, he turned out to be an inconsiderate pig. We're no longer friends and I have no intentions of dating him anymore. Thank you for your advice!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 September 2011):
 You are way to confused at the moment to be with him. You need to sort out your head before you tell him how you are feeling. You don't even know how you are feeling at the moment yourself without having to involve your best friend.
There are many issues in your past that you need to resolve before you get yourself in to another relationship. You have a fear of love and intimacy at the moment and these are serious issues that need to be solved. So you need to deal with that before telling him you have feelings for him.
I know it is not nice to get your heart broken believe me I know that, loads of people have had there heart broken. But it sounds to me like you still haven't gotten over it fully so maybe you just need to take some time on your own and sort out your feelings. It sounds like your best friend might be your rebound and you don't want to end up hurting him so just take some time out and live your life independently.
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