A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I met this guy at school (college). We text every now and then, and we occasionally have some makeout sessions in his room. We've never had sex, but we've come really close. Over time, i've stronger feelings for him. We were hanging out the other day, and he told me that he was talking to another girl and that she really had potential...then later on we ended up having another makeout session where he told me that it was a possibility that we could hook up when we see each other again...In the back of my mind, i'm thinking "What about the other girl that you told me about?"..so I asked him about it. He says "if that doesnt work out..". I really like this guy and I dont want to be treated like a backup girl. I know I would be hurt if I found out that he became exclusive with the other girl, but I feel like I should share my real feelings with him. I dont want to push him away by telling him how I really feel though. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009): Set your standards. Make him get up to the level you need him at. Say to him that you have gone tired with these makeout sessions. If he wants more, and wants you, he needs to be exclusive with you, because you're someones backup.
I actually doubt it'll scare him off since he already knows he's got you there to please him. You've let him treat you as a doormat and so he will continue to treat you. There is a huge danger however, that as soon as he sees he's got a chance of getting lucky with some other girl he will leave you. Or even cheat on you. So raise your standards girl!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2009): Wow, this guy is a turd. He isn't stupid, he knows what you want, a relationship, and he is telling you that if it doesn't work out with the other girl he might want to hook up with you.
Let me translate. He wants to date the other woman he sees her as girlfriend material, if it works out he will be having sex with her and it will be exclusive, but if she doesn't end up liking him that way, then he will be available to have sex with you. He doesn't see you as girlfriend material for what ever reason. When you say you are having make out sessions, does that include oral sex? See things are a lot different then they were when I was your age, and I am under the impression that now college girls (some of them) are performing sexual favors for men they are not in relationships with...and then wondering why the guy doesn't see her as having potential as a girlfriend, and they get their feelings hurt because the guy whom they are hooking up with can unhook just as fast.
This is not sexual liberation for women my dear....it is being used, you are just as handy as a kleenex....so if that is what is going on or what you mean by all of this, stop it and stop it right now!
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