A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey Guys,So, a girl I knew, we started off as friends (she's a really attractive girl and I've had something physical for her from the start) and one night after I saw her chatting to one of my friends who she'd known before we became mates and I thought they were gonna end up going home together (as I know this guy had done stuff with her before as he'd told me) and I went home pretty upset and ended up texting her saying I wanted to speak to her and she came round to my house, we hung out for a bit and we ended up doing some things together, but didn't have sex.The next morning, there was no awkwardness or anything and it felt great so after chatting more that day we decided to become FWB (she'd told me from the start that she didn't want a BF, so this was just a little bit of fun). Fast forward a few weeks and she comes to the conclusion that she doesn't want to do stuff anymore as she feels bad just coming round to my house for sex and then going home, despite me liking her more than that but not actually telling her at this point.I finally plucked up the courage to tell her that I liked her to which she responsed pretty well, she re-iterated that she didn't want a BF but we just went on as normal and we still talk and stuff.But now it just feels weird, we used to speak for hours on facebook and by text, we used to meet up like 3-4 times a week, now I see her once a fortnight if I'm lucky, we don't have sex anymore but we fool around and stuff, kissing and flirting but we both know it's fun (it's been hard for me as I liked her but I'm trying to get over it, I don't really get jealous when I see her with other guys and stuff).She was gonna come around to my house on Friday, and after I was on my way back from my mates at like 10:45pm I asked her if she's ready and she said shes in bed and can't be bothered getting changed (we arranged this at like 8:45pm and she told me she was expecting a text at like 9pm, she apparently lost track of time) so I didn't end up seeing her and we had a little argument, I kinda said 'You can't be bothered anymore and never make an effort' I just feel like she is pushing me away now and really trying to ignore me, we don't have great conversations anymore and they are very general, we used to just talk for hours on end and I loved it.Part of the reason is because the guy I mentioned right at the start, also likes this girl and he's pretty much a stalker, he knows things that he shouldn't, like I go and watch this girl and my sister play netball as they're in the same team and somehow he knows that I go every week (she definitely wouldn't tell him as he would go pretty crazy at her) He flies off the handle at her a lot, even calling her a 'slag' because he saw her in a car with a guy friend of hers - I honestly don't know how she is friends with this guy......I know though that this is part of the reason that she doesn't see me as much as it causes a lot of hassle for her when he finds out (I don't know how he does, as I keep our meetings under wraps, he really does seem like a stalker) he's even said that he is going to 'kick my head in' over meeting her.I'm banging my head against a brick wall over this though, we started off as friends, went to FWB I told her I liked her (but we continued as friends and it wasn't very awkward) and now I don't know where I stand, I just don't know what to talk to her about anymore, I always feel like I'm initiating the first contact and asking her to hang out and I've told her that I feel like I ask too much but she says I don't, I just don't know where to go from here. It really seems that since we stopped the FWB everything went tits up, I felt so comfortable with her that we could be friends and even having sex with no awkwardness whatsoever, it was fantastic.If anybody could give me some advice on what to do or what to say to her to maybe make things a little smoother or reduce the awkwardness and get things back to the way they were, I'd be so grateful as I'm at my wits end here, this girl is amazing and if this friendship goes to pot, I'd be devastated!Sorry for such the long post too!Thankyou! x
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2011): She's having sex with someone else and doesn't have the heart to tell you or let him find out about it....just guessing
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