A
female
age
30-35,
*ovely_babe
writes:hello everyone! i need ur help on this.Wednesday is new year's eve and im in a tough situation: a very long story short, my father is cheating on my mother, we all know that, she even know it and decided to stay for me and my sister. where i live even kids 18 yrs should ask permission from their parent, so i asked my father if i could go out and celebrate new year's eve with my friends instead of being with the family(extended)and friends... he said that if he would say yes id have to take my sis with me, and that he would go somewhere else and my mom would stay home(last year they were in a fight my mom stayed home and me my sis and dad went to the party)...my sis doesn't mind going with me...but he didn't make a decision...after an over night thinking, i asked him again if he made a final decision, he said well it up to me, if i wanna go with my friends then he's going with my uncle and my mom stays home...last year my dad took he's gf with us to the party(my parents are not separated and are still married)..so mom said she doesnt wanna go if she's going..but then my dad said he has reservations for 4 of us, he did not say he wasnt taking his slut(gf)...but then i talked with my mom and she said now she wants to go, but the final decision is mine, if i wanna go with my friends my sis goes with me and mom stays home(dad gave me the responsibility)...so this is the loooong loong story short, my dad has been with his gf for over 4 yrs and has always taken her with the family on parties and on new yr eves! and he is very well known to resort to lying...so what do u think i should do, do i go with my friends and mom stays home dad goes with his brother...or do i go to the family/friends' party and this way the whole family would be together, although we are not that good, and i have no clue if he is taking his gf her sis and her bro like he did last year when he took us and left my mom home because they were in a fight over his stupid bitch!!plllllllllllz help im am soooo confused!! plz plz help!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (27 December 2008):
 Hi hun. I was almost in tears as I read this...I must be honest. Your home life sounds rough and stressful and it sounds to me like you are yet another 'adult before your time', forced to grow up faster because you are living in chaos and because the people who are supposed to be nuturing you..your parents are caught in their own private hells and you are left to cope on your own. Your post was a little hard for me to follow but it looks like you are trying to consider the welfare of your mom here, not wanting her to be sitting alone on new years which shows you are a bit of a sweetie you know. You mention that your dad is not reliable and will not give you the straight goods on whether or not he is bringing his girlfriend which really annoys me. If he is giving YOU the responsability, he should be giving you the info to make the right choice. I can only imagine the stress this is causing you, trying to make the right decision. It would be my suggestion that you go as a family..but you are not a family. If your mom has allowed herself to stay in this degrading situation, is she not detached enough that she can ignore the mistress and have a good time in her own right. She can have a good time in her own right...might be some new man there for her or....she could leave but I would not suggest that she play a long suffering martyr here. My greater concern would be the message you and your sister are receiving by observing first hand a situation where your mother has opted to stay with a man who is cheating on her and also cheating publicly. I would suspect that it is a case of finances but know that this is extremely unhealthy and many, in fact most women would leave in a situation like this and leave they should. It troubles me that she thinks she is staying for the sake of you and your sister...this is not sending a good message about the ability of women to be strong and indpendent. Good luck sweetheart and keep us posted xxx000
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