A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Right, this might be a little complicated so I am going to write it in a list:I am totally in love with my boyfriend of six months and trust him implicitly. I do not believe he would do anything wrong in this situation.However I don't know if I can trust my friend with him.She loves attention from guys - since starting uni 8 months ago she has pulled ten guys and nearly had relationships with five before pulling out when things got serious. The last guy she pulled she came out and asked if he would sleep with her (he wouldn't).Most of these guys are in our friendship group and it makes it weird when she does this. It also seems like she would like to do this with the rest of our friends.I need to make it clear I have no objection to her lifestyle, unless it involes my boyfriend.She likes to confide in my boyfriend (quite a lot of people do) but she does stuff about things he can't tell anyone else, which seems to put pressure on him (one thing affected me personally and he ended up telling me because he couldn't bear not to). Often it seems like she is doing it for the attention as he is clearly not interested in her in a sexual way.However, I'm worried she would get with him if she had the opportunity, I walked in on them once talking and they were lying on her bed and it made me feel sick. I do not think it would bother her that he is in a relationship as she was sleeping with a guy who had a girlfriend at the time.Am I being stupid? She is friendly to everyone...but at the same time she has no problem pulling everyone...Thanks for reading such a long and unclear question. Any replies would be appreciated. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2007): You say you trust him so I don't see a problem. It won't matter what she does if he loves you nothing will happen between them. Take care.
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (3 June 2007):
 She shouldn't be hanging out in his room alone with him, period. End of story. That's a big trust killer. I would personally be furious. There's hanging with a girl, then there's being in a room with a bed of any sort. Basically THEY were ON A BED. It doesn't matter if it's in a dorm, or in the middle of nowhere, he got onto a bed with her. He should have sat on a chair, or on the floor. That was highly innappropriate.
DV1
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the answer! But I think that maybe I need to put the 'lying with her on her bed' thing into perspective. We live in univeristy halls of residence. We have to hang out in each others rooms if we want to see each other. We even eat some of our meals (catered hall but we cook for lunch etc) sitting on each others beds.
Agh I'm so confused! I don't know whether to defend him by saying the above or not. Because he was still lying on her bed with her. It didn't look like how you'd sit with friends.
Please help.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (3 June 2007):
You're not being ridiculous. I don't care if they were talking, or just laying there, he shouldn't have even been in a bedroom with him. I would have been furious! You're right not to trust him. Just because he may not be attracted to her now, doesn't mean that he can't be convinced. If he's not smart enough to know not to lay on a bed in a bedroom with another girl, then you really need to be with someone else.
DV1
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