A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, me and my bf are having problems in the bedroom and i dont really understand why: heres the back story...Me and my Boyfriend met about 9/10 months ago as he lives about 3 hours away in a house with my sister and his best friend who is also my sisters boyfriend. I went to visit with no intention of getting with anyone, just to have a good time, and ended up having pretty intense feelings for this guy. I got the feeling he felt the same and so decided to go back and visit again hoping that something might happen.What actually happened - we went out for some drinks, got pretty drunk and ended up holding hands and dancing...on the way home my sister and her friends got on the train, me and my guy were a little behind. Whereas my friends found their way onto the train, as it pulled into the station it caught my leg and dragged my under it and onto the tracks. it drove off with me under it, and my friends and sister had no idea. That night i got taken to hospital with multiple breaks in my spine and the only person who saw was this guy who came to hospital with me. no one else knew until the next day! that night in the hospital ward, and on alot of painkillers (!) i told him i liked him alot and we had our first kiss - the train grease smeared accross my face, delightful hospital gown and a lower back that had swollen up to the size of a small country hadnt seemed to have put him offHe's very shy though and had no idea what he wanted and so it didnt happen again for another week. gradually we got closer and more intimate. It was difficult because he knew he liked me but he keeps all his emotions bottled up, was rather shy about a relationship with me, worried about the distance, and i think he finds my connection with other people in his house a little wierd. For this reason, and with alot of heartache on my side, we spent about 7 months meeting up pretty secretively and talking nearly every day, but he wouldnt commit until hed 'sorted out his head' which was going to be a few months down the line when he was visiting his home country. I got the impression he wanted me to wait, though he would never say it explicitly, and so i waited. during the 7 months we spent alot of time together but only had sex three times as were weren't 'sex buddies' just a relationship on hold it seemed!!Finally he got back from his trip home and we got together immediately, he said he was very happy i waited. It was great, and we're geting on really well. The reason that i gave you so much back story is that now we are properly together we're having problems in the bedroom! He doesnt have any problems with cuming when we're playing around, except for when we try and have sex. He can't seem to keep hard and i really cant understand why. i dont know whether its me, or whether he's nervous...Its happened quite a few times now. Im a patient person and its not putting me off him whatsoever, i'd just like some advice on whether its something hes likely to get over eventually or whether there's something that i can do...youre thoughts would be much appreciated...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, PeanutButter  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 Sometimes when a guy likes or loves a girl so much they have all this pressure on themselves to do the best they can in every department and sometimes the pressure can make it hard for them to keep hard in the bedroom beause they are so intent on making it good - this should improve over time.
if you're still concerned, do a google on erectile disfunction, there are lot of good sites out there with tips and tricks to getting and staying hard for longer, some of which may help.
If it goes on to be a problem, talk to him about it gently, let him know its ok but something else could be medically wrong and he may need to visit the gp for a quick check and an all clear just to be sure.
He might just not want to hurt you, or might have something on his mind....i hope it works out for you whatever happens xxx
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