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anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid, I need to know whether I should stay or go, my boyfriend of almost 4 years just doesn't seem too interested in trying to make our relationship work. A few months ago we stopped having sex and he stopped wanting it and so did I, I thought we should have a break to see if we could start again. So i decided that we should try not to get physical and go on dates and basically just start again, but it is hard cause I couldn't afford to move out because we bought a house together and I still have to make payments so I just moved into the spare room. I don't think it's working how I wanted because he comes home from work and just goes straight to the tv and won't pay attention to me. I've tried talking to him and he just gets all defensive about it and says he's tired. he's also let himself go a little and never really wants to do anything just me and him, and if we do organise something he forgets and organises something with his mates. I wanna get back our relationship and I'm sick of always nagging at him about it. Am i just wasting my time.
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a break, moved in, says he's tired Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (27 October 2010):
 Ouch, yeah that's one thing you don't do unless he has put a ring on your finger..But now you know. The last idea I had is couples counseling if you wanted to give that a go..It would be a great way to bring what's eating him or taking him over to the surface.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice and yeah the house is in both our names, and we can't get out of it till next march as it'll cost 10,000 dollars as it's a fixed loan.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (27 October 2010):
Sadly you are..You're trying to rekindle the spark that died months ago. If the sex has stopped, you're sleeping in another bedroom, he won't pay attention to you, or even address the issue, and he doesn't go on a date night with you but his friends instead. I see you putting in the effort and getting nothing in return. You have to give and take in a relationship..Sorry dear but there's nothing left to salvage.
Now the house, is it in your name? I'd give him a deadline of when to move out by.
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