A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I really need help in this situation because I'm completely lost...I'm dating a guy who I really really like. I would say love but I'm 14 and in my first real relationship so idk of this is love or not. Anyways, I really care for this guy and he means a lot to me and I don't want to break up any time soon but I am considering it and here is why: We are going to separate highschools and when I asked if he thought we would be okay he told me half of him says yes if we try and half of him says no. I Completely understand where he is coming from but lately I haven't been feeling important or special to him so I asked him of I meant a lot to him because he meant a lot to me and he responded "yeah I mean u mean a good bit in my life." He tells me he loves me bit quite honestly I don't feel it anymore. Now to many people this would just mean the end of the relationship... They would end it and move on but here is why I don't want to. I care about him so much and him and I have dated before and basically when we broke up he cut off all contact and just moves on... Even though he says he wants to be friends... I know lots of time after relationships staying friends isn't a reality and right now I think I'm just wishful thinking but I care about him and don't want him out of my life even if dating doesn't work out for us... I told him this the last time we broke up and it did me no good and I really don't know why I'm hoping it will this time. I just don't want to break up because I really do have strong feelings for him but I just don't feel special anymore and if I end it he's just going to be gone from my life and I don't want that at all... So what do I do? Because talking about how I feel usually involves no reply from him or a changing of the subject so :/ I'm so lost please help
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2015): Being only fourteen, a teenage boy's feelings may not seem as intense as a girl's. If you start a pattern of breaking up and getting back together, you will never really learn how to keep a real relationship going. You're at the age when it's only practice. Love is too strong a word to use just yet. I know you care deeply, but he's too young to count your feelings on.
Boys his age don't hold on to their feelings too long. He is around a lot of other girls and he's too young to be in a really serious relationship. Girls are far more mature than boys at your age. You should be seeing other boys and not trying to hold on too tight to one boy. Especially, if he seems restless; and not too sure of his feelings about you.
You can't guarantee he will always be in your life; because at the age of 14, you still have a lot of growing and maturing to do. So does he. It would not be mean to end the relationship if you feel you have to. It just doesn't make sense to go back and forth. Don't pretend to be friends just to keep him around. Learn how to let go.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2015): Just to add, he used to tell me how much I meant to him, call me beautiful, and a lot of other things and now he doesn't at all and also I'm always the one who initiates affection... He says he enjoys affection and loves doing it but he will never start it.
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