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age
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*MECEAM
writes:i have ( or had -do not know yet ) a gf of over 3 yrs. we do not live together, but live a few blocks away. our schedules do not match so we do no see each other as much as we would want to. due to her past marriage of over 16 yrs with a guy that cheated quite often on her and due to a legal settlement, if she would re-marry, get engage or live with someone ( me ) she would lose this money ( it is an important amount), she has 2 kids, 19 and 17. i can understand this and to a certain point have accepted it. for the past 7 months she has accused me of cheating on her, just because she's got the feeling of it. there has been no prove or evidence connecting me to anyone. have not been caught in a motel, restaurant or anywhere with another woman. she thinks that every woman is after me. the last incident happened on valentine's day, i was talking to 2 clerks (females) both married, which i known for over 20 yrs and see then everyday due to my work. she saw me, actually was almost behind me, but she tells me becuase i did not reacted the way she expected and because i did not intruduce her to them, i must be hiding something or becuse they know my ex gf, i did not want this info of my gf to get to ex. is it that simple to accused someone of cheating without real prove?? one thing that i have noticed, since this has happened 4 times in 8 months, which i would ask, is, she has never asked why are you cheating on me???, why?? that never comes into play, i would be intersted to find out why someone is cheating on me. we have talked over the phone a few times, and told her that i loved her and i was happy with her and would not do anything to hurt her. anyway, she asked me over her house, she planned on a night that we would be alone. i told her that i would come over but i did not want to argue anymore. anyway, i love my gf, we have not been intimate for some time and i made a move on her, i could not help it, i missed her. well she freaked and ask me to leave, which i did. i left confused, since that was not what i was expecting from this meeting. i guess i assumed becuase of the set up this would lead to something else. i have not heard from her in a week. i do not know what to think. was i wrong trying a move on her??. i was not looking for something else then and i'm not ready to throw what i had away either so quickly and i'm not in the mood to go looking for something else just because i think or feel free to do it. i'm patient and understanding person, but this has been taxing my emotions beyond the tolerant point. i do not know what's going on on her mind. i do not want to call her, because i think i deserve an explanation, am i wrong??. what should i do about this??
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reader, dearkelja +, writes (8 March 2008):
 I think your girlfriend is still suffering from the hurt of her past marriage where her spouse did cheat on her. She has unresolved issues and is bringing them into your relationship. Unless she gets some help for this she will be forever suspicious of you and will treat you accordingly. She can not help herself and she needs help. I think your relationship is suffering and will continue to suffer. You do not owe her an apology for trying a move. You were a gentleman and you left. What did you say on your way out? I'm guessing something like I'm sorry. She on the other had does owe you an explanation as to what is going on with your relationship. She may not call you so maybe you're going to have to call and tell her you want to go for a cup of coffee and talk. Otherwise, you're going to be stewing over this and not knowing is sometimes worse than swallowing your pride to get the answers you need.
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