A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello I know this guy for two years and we were kind of friends and we have become very close during the last four months. He contacts me almost every day and shows interest in me. We do not live in the same town and opportunities to see each other are not that frequent and were always work related. He came here and we went out twice and we had the best time. Then i went there and we went out again and we slept together. The day after we went out in the afternoon and we had coffee and talked for hours. Every day he tells me he wants to see me and i know he is sincere.I have a business trip next week so i will see him there.PROBLEM is i do not know where this is going and what he wants. This makes me step back and always trying to control myself. I am scared to be involved and finally find he was just looking for a casual fling. I do not want to be hurt so sometimes i am thinking to stop this on my own terms and move on. Do not get me wrong, I do like him but i do not know if this is worth it.I would like to make plans with him but i do not dare to bring up the ideas up as i do not know if he is going to think i am too involved. And i do not call him for the same reason. Even if the few times i did he is always saying i am the cutest.I feel like i have to do something because he is leaving the company so work related trips are over. He told me that nothing is going to change but i cannot see many options. I do not want an internet relationship falling everyday more for him. So i need to know if this is going somewhere and if both of us are going to make the effort a LDR demands.How can i talk to him about that without scare him off ? Is too early ? Should i go with the flow and potentially being really hurt ? In this situation i cannot be completely myself and i just want to know if it is time to cut my loses.Thank you very much for your advice ! All your comments are really welcome.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): I would talk to him and clear this up. And you shouldn't be worried about scaring him off because if he does get scared off or if he doesn't want anything serious, then better to get rid of him/let him go now rather than later.
Don't put it off unless you don't want a serious relationship right now. If you want to just have fun and enjoy your time with him, then forget about having the talk.
Now, after having said all of that, the only thing I would caution you about is whether YOU want a serious relationship with this guy. Do you know him enough that you want something more with him? Make sure you know and are sure of how you feel and what you want first before having this talk.
Good luck! :)
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