A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, met a nice girl and went out for dinner on a first date. I definitely felt a wow after the first date - really put a huge smile on my face, knew I wanted to see her again, think we'd get along etc. So after a couple of weeks we went out on said second date. But I'm sat here a few days later and didn't get the same feeling after the second date. I think shes really cool and just feel so comfortable and think we'd get along long term and be really solid (there were a few silences, but none felt awkward, which I take as a good sign... you can't be talking for like 9 hours solid between you) - but just don't quite feel the same excitement as the first date. Or is that only something you'll feel after one date, that instant attraction to someone as a person, with things mellowing out after as even though its only one date they're not 'new' and you know a little about them?So in essence what are Sparks or Chemistry or whatever after the second date and beyond? But I think we're quite compatible (at least from what I've seen so far) - which I know is equally if not more important if you'd like something longer term (which I am) and not just wham bham thankyou ma'am. But surely you still need some 'wow' to keep going for a while?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2014): Normally, second date kind of gives you better feeling of what's going on. It's not un common to feel this way. But also don't disregard the fact that you guys couldn't make a date for the whole 2 weeks. Usually people in their 20s don't have this much patience to wait to meet up again with the person they like. If I had to wait for 2 weeks I would probably be kind of disssapointed and keep my eyes open for another candidate.,Then she can be on a different mood, you might be feeling a bit stressed, who knows. I would give it another chance. I can give you an example. I ve met a guy once and we had 2 very good dates. Then the 3 rd date he showed up with turned jeans and shabby t- shirt. He was hardly shaven, tired, conversation was fading several times and he didnt seem interested. I cut the date short and went home. He called few days later, apologizing and asking me out again. I had to say NO. Then few weeks passed and we met by accident in a coffee shop Nd he asked me out again, this time I agreed. We dated for 2 years after that. We are still friends many years later. You never know, give it another chance
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (2 November 2014):
Relax, you don't have to think too much after two dates.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2014): OP: We only had to wait due to conflicting diaries... there was the desire, just work and family issues gets in the way - this is RL after all.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 November 2014):
 You are expecting things to just fall on your lap when in fact you two are also responsible for creating the romantic environment. For me, if i had to wait 2 weeks for a second date I would feel there's no urgency or enough interest to get to know me. You on the other hand might be cautious and trying to not look too eager. If there's an instant attraction, excitement I would think you would do something about it, to make her yours, rather than just waiting it out and see what happens.
If nothing prompts you to text her often, wonder if she's dating other guys then I would suspect you are exciting about the idea of dating and not really her as a person. If chemistry and spark only lasts for the first date then relationships are a sad thing indeed. The chemistry is supposed to build up, the connection deepen.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2014): Ask her out for a third date and see how you feel after that :-)
It's too early to tell. Give it a bit more time since you both have nothing to lose.
Good luck mate
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