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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend of a year does not trust me because when we got together I had an affair with him whilst with my ex-partner. We are very much in love and have great times together but he keeps accusing me irrationally even when he has proof of where I have been. I am very worried about why he thinks this as I have not been unfaithful to him and never would be. By his own admission he loves me very much and gets irrational about things but I can't seem to get through to him. I know that he has liked me for a long time and wonder if this is making him feel like this. Any suggestions?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2005): Wow, i did the EXACT same thing. What worked for my boyfriend to gain trust of me was just not doin anything that would cause suspition, or make him untrust me. Always tell him the truth and make sure he knows what your up to all the time, otherwize it leaves room for the mind to wander. My boyfriend compleatly trustes me now! And i can have other guys over and he's not worried. Always re-assure him!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2005): Trust is the foundation of all committed relationship and before you two get deeper into this relationship, you both may want spiritual or couple counseling to learn ways for him to re-establish trust. This kind of change can be done, but it takes time so be patient and loving with each other. Keep talking about your trust and relationship concerns because open, honest communication builds and keeps a relationship strong but always use respect in all your conversations. Good luck and I wish you well.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (3 November 2005):
 Since he is the one you cheated WITH it makes perfect sense that he has some reservations about your honor and faithfulness. The only way you can prove your love is to stay true to him, and, over time he may trust you. Of course if you can't stay the course then move on, it's not like you are married.
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