A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My fiance and I just broke up last week. We have been together for five years. I cheated on him and left him because I was unhappy. Now I think I want him back. What should I do? How do you break up with someone you've been with for that long and not help but feel like you lost part of yourself? I miss him so much. I know he's hurting a lot too. I can't help but think that I just lost the best thing in my life and now I don't know how to get it back. Will I ever stop missing him??
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male
reader, Sparticus  +, writes (25 September 2007):
Obviously you're going to be feeling a bit crap, after all - you were with the bloke for 5 years!
You say you cheated because you wern't happy - will seeing him again make you happy, or lead you back into sadness? Or did you just cheat because you're not ready for marriage?
Can you really not live without him, or do you just need time to get over him? Only you know the answer ;)
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 I'm guessing your ex is not so thrilled about the idea of getting back together?....If that's the case, then look objectively at the reason you cheated on him in the first place. You were unhappy. You said so yourself. So you are probably just missing the comfort zone he provided, and if you were truly unhappy then you would've discovered this later anyhow, perhaps after the wedding and then felt trapped and miserable. If you're honest with yourself, you're probably better off without him, otherwise you wouldn't have cheated on him. You obviously felt something was missing. Right now you're just scared and feeling guilty. Hopefully you will learn from this experience and recognize when it may be time to end a relationship, or at least pull back, before you cheat. If your ex is not completley furious with you, maybe he will consider trying the relationship again, but you will be forever under his watchful eye from this day forwrd. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): does he know that you cheated on him? because the way i see it is, you cheated on him, then you left him. you hurt him. he may not want you back. it is completely normal to feel like that after only one week. i think you should give it more time. of course you feel like you have lost a part of yourself. he was a massive part of your life. i think you need to look at the reasons you were unhappy and think of WHY you cheated on him. if it really was the best thing in your life, why would you feel that way? nostalgia always kicks in when a relationship ends and you tend to remember the good things only.give it more time, if you still feel like this in a couple of months then maybe try talking to him but right now it is too soon for you to even understand your own feelings. if you go back to him now you may very well end up feeling all the unhappiness and problems you had before then end up leaving him again and that would not be fair on him or you.
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