A
male
age
36-40,
*-Prizzle
writes:Hello, I have a question. I had an eight month relationship with a wonderful, beautiful young lady. I had never felt this way about any girl in my life, and I am sure that I was, and still am, in love with her. However, a little while ago, I cheated on her, didn't tell her, she was devastated when she found out, and we broke up. I swore to her that I'd do whatever was necessary to right the wrong, but she's been hurt before in past relationships. I feel like sh*t because I was the one who said I wasn't gonna screw up and do her right, and I ended up doing sh*t anyway. We still get on as friends, and I bring up the subject of us getting back together. She says she wants to move on, and wants me to do the same, but then she'll say that there is a possible chance. I have tried to move on and date other people, but it just isn't the same. I need help, please!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): Being friends may not be a great idea if it hurts. What I would say is if you want her back dont give up yet, she may be seeing how hard you will try. Send her a gesture (flowers etc) just letting her know you care and you are sorry. Sometimes it is the littlest things that can solve the biggest problems.
If however it is definately all over. Keep in mind your reasons for cheating and try to learn from them if you hit hiccups in future relationships. The excuse that 'it' was on a plate just doesnt cut it.
x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): Just accept that you have lost her trust and won't regain it. That is what women are like. We trust and expect the person we trust to be trustworthy. As you could not be trusted, that's it. You have lost a beautiful relationship. May this help you in the future.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (24 November 2007):
 Don't be freinds. You don't have to be enemies, but if being friends is going to hurt then do not do it.
Doing something drastic is usually a sign of the unconscious wanting to create a catalist to make something happen that consciously you were not willing to do.
If it was that bad, then staying to work on it would have been the wrong thing to do.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
male
reader, C-Prizzle +, writes (24 November 2007):
C-Prizzle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers and yes, I definitely have learned my lesson. The relationship obviously wasn't all peaches and cream (Your normal ups and downs), but I should have stayed and worked them out instead of doing something drastic. We are still friends right now, but I'm not sure I can deal with that. However, I may not have a choice...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): Did you only realise what you had got once you had lost her?
I think you know that she has every right to not have you back and that if she chooses to, then she is going to make it hard work for you. The problem is will it be in the back of her mind every day, yes. Will she think you are up to something every time you are late home or out with your friends, yes. So then you have to weigh up whether if it wont be left to lie, then is it worth the stress?
If the answer is yes then you need to prove yourself, why did you feel the need to cheat anyway?
Hopefully you will learn your lesson, you need to idolise the woman you are with, not wish for the eye candy that parades itself in front of you.
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