A
male
age
41-50,
*cd252
writes:I am having difficulty in Switching off love?.. I have been in a relationship with my wife for 11 years we were 17 when we started dating and she was pregnant at 18 and gave birth to our son, we only got married 3 years ago. She was my best and only friend as well as my lover. However a few of life's glitches such as my step dad passing away and then my grand mother almost a year to the day later really shocked my mum. to cut a very long story short, I spent all my time at my mum's and not enough with my own family. To make matters worse my mums way of dealing with grief was to take it out on my wife by making sly remarks I couldn't handle being in the middle of their disputes and instead of always siding with my wife who I cherish and love I tried to remain neutral. I became so fed up with reality that I buried my head in the ground and try to ignore everything. At first I was just in isolation didn't speak just sat in front of the computer or the TV then I became angry and aggressive most of the time kicking tables and chairs in anger ect. My wife left me but left our son in my care as she was sleeping on her friends sofa.I realised that my behaviour was grossly inappropriate, I went to get anger management counselling and that helped a great deal. As the weeks started to go by and my heart grew with love and desire towards her. Her mother died and she went home (which is the other side of the country) for the funeral. When she returned she told me that she was going to move back home and wanted to take our son with her. I was really upset so got a solicitor and suggested I apply for a residency order so our son will have to live with me. My wife agreed that our son could stay with me until Christmas which I agreed to as I felt so sorry for her and still loved her so deeply. It was just before Christmas when she told me she was pregnant and that I may be the father. During our separation she couldn't stay with her friends and was still waiting 6 weeks for her new Job so moved back in. A friendship started and we were like old times, but she still went home. I didn't know what to do I was so heartbroken she had spent the last 3 months telling me she still loved me and needed to get away to sort her head out and then this??. A few days later she retracted and said that I was definitely the father and she hasn't been seeing anyone else. I believed her but told her that I wanted our son to stay with me until the end of the school year as she hadn't organised a new school yet. at first she refused but after Christmas she accepted. It was half way through January when she now informed me that she was still pregnant and that she was having complications, she also told me that she is seeing someone else just as friends but she kind of likes him. 2 days later she changes her facebook profile to state that she is in a relationship with this guy. Once again Heartbroken I called her and she told me she was being honest with me and that she is taking it really slow and that she is confused and still in love with me but she is in love with this other guy as well, because he reminds her of me??. I am so confused as she is pregnant with my baby in love with me and someone else that reminds her of me and to top it all off she came up to visit our son and stayed with me and slept in the same bed and we hugged all night every night and after 4 days she went again straight to this guys house where she stayed in his bed.. I just can't stop loving her but I feel I am setting myself up to getting hurt over and over again, what should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010): Oh, my, goodness!
You really need to take charge of the situation and tell your wife that she either comes home, to you and your son, and get back in the marriage ... ... ... Or she can go do whatever! And let her know if she doesn't come home, then you will be filing for a divorce!
And maybe, you should already file for divorce since she has already been cheating on you with God only knows how many guys.
I feel bad for you sir, but you have man-up and take charge of the situation, of the marriage, and of your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010): Oh boy I think it is time to grow up. Time to face your your mistakes tell her you love her get marrige counsling and a parternaty test. Remember this now about the kids. If it is meant to be it will workout.
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