A
male
age
41-50,
*ylarst
writes:So I'm not first to have this issue and I'm sure I won't be the last. I'm 29, and I've had only one real relationship. That was back when I was 21 and it lasted 3 months. Since then I have "dated" two women. By dated I mean that nothing ever was official and neither of them wanted to make it official. The last one was 2 years ago. She decided to lead me on, play with my emotions for about 6 weeks. We kissed, slept(actually slept) together, I met her friends. I fell for her hard and she texted me one day to tell me she was back together with her ex. I thought I finally found something special...only to have it ripped from me. I'm not ashamed to say that it broke me. My co workers and friends noticed, but never really said anything. I'm a very quiet and reserved person. I keep everything to myself. I don't know how to open up to people. I lie to my friends so that do t know how depressed and lonely I am. I don't let anyone in, especially my male friends. I have some female friends, mostly because I feel more comfortable confiding in them. So now that there is some background I can get to the present. I tried the online dating thing. It was a collective failure. For the most part I got no return emails and the few I got didn't work out or get past the texting. Lately I'm beginning to worry that my lack of experience will turn away girls. I dont know how to date or get a girlfriend. I want to be normal and have a relationship. I want to bring a girl home eto meet the family. I'm so tired of being the single one. I want be anything but me, nice guy who will be there as friend. How do I not come off as desperate?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (18 December 2012):
Dude, you have to chill out a bit. Woman want a man, they dont want to have to play mom/psychiatrist.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 December 2012):
 Your desperateness and clinginess will have women running for the hills. You have to be calm, cool, and collected when snagging a woman. Falling hard and fast results in failure.
You need to make you happy first, before you add a relationship to the mix. A relationship isn't the foundation of your happiness. Learn to do you, be happy, find out what makes you tick, and then work on your dating life.
It also cannot hurt you to open up to your male friends and ask for their help. Yes, females know females and what they like, but males know about reeling in females.
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