A
male
age
36-40,
*ratt1085
writes:Hi basically iv lost the love of my life and want some other peoples perspective on this, i was with my fiance for 11 months and i was a jealous git lol, i couldnt help it just constantly getting jealous over her male work colleagues, we split about 3 weeks ago and iv been through hell all i think about is her, people say time is a great healer and iv been in other serious relationships but nothing hurt compared to this, she left me saying it hurt to much to be around me as i was constantly thinking she was going to run off with someone else, i know i shouldn't of but the first week i literaly begged her back constantly which isn't me at all, then i started to back off abit telling id ber there for her as a friend we've met up a couple of times and chatted on facebook and stuff but nothings come of it, just agreeing mutual friendship for one another, then today 3 weeks after the breakup after i ignored her a few days in a row she popped round to see if i was ok, we cuddled and shared a few passionate kiss's then she pulled away and said she cant do this i accepted this and said you'd better get off as she's going bowling with a few mates from work, i sent her a text saying sorry about kissing her and making the breakup more difficult, then she replied im sorry too didnt mean to kiss you, i sayed bet you enjoyed it really and she replied im not admitting a thing lol x, do you think this relationship is over with and if so do you think i should stay mutual friends with her in hopes that she can see my jealousy has changed? i just dont want to go through the heartbreak of being mates with her and watching her eventually fall for another guy, or do you think i should cut off all contact with her, shes blowing hot and cold with me at the moment saying she just wants to be mates, then getting really flirty with me in texts, please any input would be appreciated as I know you guys probly hear this `1000 times a day but she really is the love of her life and iv told her i want her to meet someone that can keep her happy, i just cant be there as a mate as that stuff will kill me.
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male
reader, pratt1085 +, writes (2 December 2008):
pratt1085 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell she says theres no chance of us getting back together but would like to remain friends however if i ignore her then she starts texting me all the time, when we meet shes wanting to cuddle me all the time, lol i know the best thing to do is to break off all contact with her, its just so hard to do, my heart says one thing and my head another
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008): Are you sure the jealousy is gone, or does it just seem gone, since yall aren't going out anymore and are just friends?Talk to her. Ask her to be straight up with you. "Is there a chance of us getting back together?" Tell her that you are confused about the mixed signals she has been giving. If she acts confused list the different signals.If there is no chance of getting back together, I suggest that whatever causes you less pain, do.If you stay friends with her, and she ends up with someone else, you will be constantly thinking about her and him together. If you stop talking to her, you will find yourself constantly wondering if she has found someone else, and you just don't know it. Either way there is going to be pain of some sort. Sorry you had to go through this. I find myself worrying about my own husband sometimes. It's just very difficult for me to trust people.Best Wishes,Amanda
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