A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I'm feeling insecure.My boyfriend told me that a lot of people tellhim he's good looking mostly female friends or classmates. I know it's silly and that I should be proud to be with him - indeed, I'm porud - however, I can't stop feeling a bit insecure that some girls may want him.I know he's with me. But I've seen so many nice, intelligent, prettier girls than me. Some of whom are friends or classmates of his. I never get complimented really. I mean, he compliments me, yeah. And his friends agree that I'm pretty and nice and that I have a lot of things in common with my boyfriend. But guys never tell me to my face that I'm good looking or anything! And I feel insecure that other girls want him. I've screwed up in our relationship (broke his trust, I lied) and he's willing to be with me, he says that won't change, but I just can't help but wonder, what if he finds someone else who's overall better than me who fancies him? He thinks the world of me, he even wants to marry me, but what if that changes the moment he meets someone else?I don't know what I'm thinking about anymore! It's just that, to me, he's perfect. I want him for me and me alone. Yes, I'm selfish like that.
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female
reader, Queeny +, writes (3 June 2008):
when he fell in love with you, he had a reason. he saw some qualities in you that he admired the most. there will always be prettier gals than you and prettier gals than those prettier than you. same applies to you, you are much prettier than other gals. do not measure your weakness with other people's strengths you will definately not shine. why not focus on this things tht made him fall in love with you as this are your strengths. his friends even like you and even compliment you. especially when he has not indicated any preferance of other gal or compared you with anyone, be assured that he loves you. if you allow these insecurities to overshadow your strengths, your weaknesses will what will be predominant which is not attractive to any one.
on the other hand, if this is a song that he sings everyday as to how much other gals say he is handsome tell him to stop it if its said once its enough. he could aswell fall inlove with himself.
do not let the beauty inside you be trampled upon by thoughts of insecurities. if he has not made any demeaning remarks on you and keeps on saying how beautiful you are, there is no need to be insecure... if there are things that you'd like to spice up in you e.g. way you dress, do your hair, socialise etc.. jus do it!
take care beauty!
A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (3 June 2008):
I think a lot of women feel this way and are worried that their bloke will meet someone else. Yes he could easily meet someone prettier more suited etc etc but it doesnt mean he will see them that way, if he is with you then you then as far as he is concerned you are pretty and well suited to him anyway. He wont necessarily act upon it if he meets someone anyway. We all meet people throughout our lives who may be 'better' than what we've got but it doesnt mean anything ever has to happen.
Stop worrying and enjoy your relationship and have some fun with this guy, he is with you!! x
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