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female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I have never been with other peole before but my boyfriend has been in a few relationsihps. His last relationship was pretty serious and lasted roughly four years, out of which two years were long distance because ex moved to a different country for higher education. I met my boyfriend when he was still with his ex. However, they broke up a few months later, on 'friendly' terms, becuase they couldn't handle the distance. My boyfriend and I were close friends through all of this and I would constantly fangirl over him and his ex. He kept saying that they were over a long time ago but only held on because they had been together for so long. They don't talk anymore because his ex blocked him on all social media.Long story short, I took a movie from my boyfriend on his pendrive a few days ago. After I plugged the USB to my system, I noticed a folder called 'iPhotos'. I opened it because just for the heck of it but what I found there was something I could not even imagine. The USB was filled with his ex-girlfriend's nudes and a lot of pictures from when they were together - nudes and a ton a screenshots from their skype sex sessions (they had been in a long-distance relationship for about 2 years), apart from miscellaneous pictures which I figured were all on this folder because his cloud account was linked to his phone. But nevertheless, it shattered my heart to think that my bofriend would still have his ex-girlfriend's nudes saved. While I have always been a little insecure of his past relationship. this was my breaking point. When I confronted my boyfriend over this, he reassured me that he had deleted all the pictures of him and his ex from his phone but he did not know that they got saved to his cloud account too. I believe my boyfriend but I cannot get those images out of my head. Everytime I see him or talk to him, all I can think of, is my boyfriend and his ex. And those pictures. It makes me physically sick to even think about it and yet I can't them out of my head.I understand this all of this is in his past but I don't know what to do. I don't know whether I can move past those pictures.
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broke up, ex girlfriend, his ex, insecure, long distance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, buubly100  +, writes (8 September 2016):
Hi there, that must have been really horrible for you to see that-I'm sorry that happened. But you must trust your boyfriend that he wasn't keeping them or still looking at them. It sounds like a genuinely forgot about them.You really do have to remember that he is with YOU now. Not her. YOU! You have the better place now also-because you are in the same area as him, whereas she is miles away :)boost your confidence a bit by reminding yourself how awesome you are-rock your favourite dress or jeans and have faith in yourself! As for the photos -a difficult thing to forget sure. But you've got to remember that naked photos happen in relationships so it was just a thing that they did a few times in the PAST. Its no reflection on your current relationship with him how. Don't let anything you saw make you self conscious or jealous or whatever. Try and laugh it off as something stupid. I know thats hard but sometimes seeing the funny side can make you feel a lot better.Make sure he deletes the photos, and ask him whatever you need to know about them now before it becomes a resentment. Then let it go and move on. He's with you now,end of! Xxxx
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 September 2016):
 Are you sure that you are ready to be in a relationship? It sounds like he has more experience than you in this department, is he older than you? Okay I agree it is not nice to see those kinds of things, but he done nothing wrong, he was with her before you. Either you accept that he has a past and learn how to move on, or you end the relationship and wait until you feel ready to be with someone.
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