A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi. no matter how hard i try i cannot get my girlfriend to orgasm!!It doesnt matter what position we do, how hard, how fast i go, or how long we do it, she never comes. she also never comes through oral sex, however long i do it for or anything. Its really getting to me. She really enjoys sex and everytime we have sex or i give her oral sex theres always moments where i feel shes so close to climaxing but then never does.ive never not been able to make a girl orgasm in the past, and ive been with a couple of women where i have given them their first orgasm. I was so confident before this relationship but its starting to make me feel a bit inadequate.the thing is she has never had an orgasm with any of her previous relationships either, and when i asked her about what they thought, they had just never mentioned it or didnt even realise she wasnt climaxing. I think im the most experienced person she has been with and she was even surprised that i could tell that she wasnt orgasming, and that i actually cared. Ive been trying to encourage her to masturbate more, because she had never even climaxed on her own.She phoned me to say the other day that she had orgasmed on her own but hasnt been able to since and now she is questioning herself as to whether or not she actually did that time.Is there anything we can do? i dont know if this is important but her clit seems far more sensitive that any other women i have been with. could this stop her from being able to climax?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): I had that problem. This is how to fix it. If she is not experienced on recognizing when she is close, do not expect she will come with oral sex. That is the hardest for us. You may use that to begin the fun. Always very softly because, it can get her too sensitive otherwise. Then, remember to have sex slowly because she can get irritated and will never come, but with her on top of you. The secret is for you to be almost on a sitting down. That way her clit will be touched by the tip of your D. Touch her breast while she moves on top of you and practice that position a lot until she comes, but slowly and rubbing it well. I noticed that one day by accident instead of sitting on top while he was in bed, he was almost sitting with the pillows behind him to support him as a chair would. IT WAS INCREDIBLE. Also, try to have a nice porno movie for her to relax and forget about the stress of not being able. I remember that I already expected not to come even before starting. Also, one glass of wine is ok, but never too many because my area also falls asleep and cant come when I dring more than 3 wines. She needs to be able to have fun and relax. Always have a vibrator next to the bed and use it to have fun. It always work. Once she learns to do so, with practice she will get to know herself to get them faster.
A
female
reader, busy04  +, writes (17 August 2009):
 Hey...every1 here gave good advice & I do say try those things, but I have to add that you should not make her "climax" the goal of your lovemaking. Instead of trying so hard to do that, focus more on just pleasing her & making sure she's satisfied, and having a climax does not always mean that you are pleased sexually anyway. There are other ways to please her as well. I know it may make you feel to know that you can bring her to that point:), but still don't let it be the driving point for you.
Beside that, it is not your total responsibility to make her have one, she has to be comfortable & in tune with her own body enough to have one. You can only meet her halfway, and she has to be willing to let go & enjoy herself as well.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): Have you tried introducing a vibrator into your sex life? I've always gotten girls to orgasm, sometimes only with a vibrator on certain days. A vibrator should work, even if your tongue doesn't.My girlfriend's clit is very sensitive too, so don't get her a big powerful vibrator like the Panasonic. Just get her a basic vibrator they sell at CVS pharmacy for under $20.00. That will do fine. Here's how to have sex with her while she vibrates her clitoris. This position gets you and her off at the same time, and she should have a mind blowing orgasm too! You'll need at least a queen size bed or a big blanket on a sandy beach. Outdoors on a nice sunny day is the best!Eat her pussy out until she gets good and wet. Try not to focus on her clit, otherwise you could de-sensitize her without knowing. Mix it up down there. Lick around her labia and suck gently on her cunt lips. Get her good and wet. K-Y jelly will also help. Her vagina has got to be slippery or else any discomfort will ruin her experience. This is about her, not you. Once she gets her's, trust me she will make sure you get yours off too.After she is well lubricated, have her lay on her back with her legs up in the air. You lay on your side and gently slide your cock into her vagina sideways. Once your penis is in her vagina, she can lower her legs on top of yours. She can also put one of her legs between yours if you prefer. You then slide your cock in and out of her while she vibrates her clit. Go slowly, don't rush it. She wants to feel your cock penetrating and stretching her vagina. She doesn't want a hummingbird jackhammer moving in and out so fast, she misses the sensation.Tease her vagina a little by putting just the tip of your cock into her vagina a few inches. Don't penetrate too much during this move. After doing that a few times, you'll find her grabbing you and pulling you toward her so your cock goes deeper.Watch her face and especially her mouth and eyes. You'll know when she starts to get going. Slide your cock in and out of her vagina slowly. Again, its not a race to the finish line. Push in slowly until to reach the end of her vagina, then push a little harder until you feel your penis bend. Your cock should bend a little and push its way to the side of her cervix to reach her G-spot. When you feel that you slid past the cervix, press your cock into her a little deeper. This might hurt your penis a little when you reach the end of her vagina and your cock bends, so back off at that point. Be careful not to push too deep. I've done that a few times over the years and I think I hit an ovary. That will not be pleasant for her and will probably shut her down.The nice thing about this position is that you are on your side with both hands free. Assuming your nails and fingers aren't a grimey mess, you can run your moistened fingers around her labia as your cock slides in and out of her. You can also mositen your fingers and rub her nipples and massage her breasts. Did I mention mositure?? Very important to have her moist. If you roll her slightly on her side, you can slide up next to her and lick her nipples while fucking her as she vibrates her clit. Again, mix up all of these moves and remember moisture and lubrication are key. A dry vagina is a painful and numb vagina.Good luck. If this doesn't work, then nothing will!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): I heard a therapist say once that "everyone is responsible for their own orgasm." You're meeting her halfway -- you're not being a selfish lover. So relax and leave it up to her from here.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): Hello.
I too had this problem.
Sometimes it's hard for women to start orgasming, and no matter how hard you try, it just doesn't get there.
I gave it time... And eventually I did orgasm.
Maybe she feels a lot of presure to orgasm and doesn't like upsetting you. This could stop her and cause the plateauing that you are discribing, because she is unable to fully relax.
Try giving her time to get comfortable and relax about it... I doubt your doing anything wrong. Stop trying so hard. Eventually, when her body is ready, she will come. You can't force it.
One tip I can give you is that sometimes hard and fast isn't what is needed.
Also, no I don't think an extra sensitive clitorus should stop her from orgasming, you might need to go a bit easier on it though... You could try loobing up a lot, and that would prevent as much friction, whilst still giving her pleasure... This might sound gross to some people, (definatly ask her before you do this), but sometimes spit can be used on your fingers, to smooth things.
And also if you stimulate the hood of the clitorus (Just above it) it might feel better than if you stimulate it directly.
If your girlfriend wants to she can email me on here and I might be able to help her figure out if she has orgasmed or not, and give her a few tips on how you please herself.
Good luck
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