A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:(This is long, sorry.)I feel like such a misfit in my family. I'm 16 and the middle child (I have an older brother, whose 17 and younger brother, whose 10). First of all, my parents favor my brothers. Honestly, I've felt for a long time that my parents don't love me at all.My parents are constantly spoiling my brothers. They get whatever they want when they want it. My older brother is very bright, but acts like a two-year-old when something doesn't go his way. My little brother is the same if not worse. They're constantly acting like they're better than me too.My family has sort of a tradition for being lawyers. It's what my older brother is going to go to school for and even m little brother already has that mentality. My mother and I have gotten into countless fights over my career choice: Ballet. I really want to teach it after studying other forms of dance in college. But apparently I'm going to "dissapoint" her and my father if I go to school for that. And honestly, I'm not afraid to "dissapoint" them.It's not only that. My whole family (cousins, aunts, uncles) looks down on my clothing stlye, my music style (I play bass in a band). I get dirty looks everytime I'm around them. I know for a fact that my grandmother literally hates me because I refused to play violin (my brothers and cousins participate in a youth orchestra).I've never exactly been "mentally-stable," and I don't know how much longer I can take this. I don't even know why I call them family anymore. Any advice? What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009): That's unfortunate that your family isn't supporting your goals. It may be hard, but stop looking for their approval. If you have good friends and other role models like teachers for example that believe in you, find your strength in them. It will be easier once you get to college and won't be around that as much. College is the best place to find a fantastic group of supportive life long friends. Hang on just a little longer!
Oh and next time you get into one of those fights with your mom and you are losing, just say "Well clearly I'm not cut out to be a lawyer if I'm losing this argument!"
Good luck on becoming a ballet instructor!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009): You do not have to fulfil other people's dreams because your life is your own. Do you invite friends round to your house who believe in what you are doing, so that you could have someone 'on your side'?
Whatever they say about how you should be spending your life, I am sure that your family do love you.
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A
female
reader, Zoe4582  +, writes (16 December 2009):
I too somtimes feel unwanted but that usually lasts for a little amount of time.. Try to be more involved in the family and show an interest in what they do. Although you sound pretty actually very different to your family. And I mean, they can't tell you what to have a career in just so they cn be proud. If you want to teach that's fine it should be fine with them.
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