A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So... how do I make this simple.....ok, thing is, I really don't know what I'm thinking about her! I'll just start of with how it started:I'm in second year of college and we've been classmates since first semester and then around the second we got to be friends. at then end of that semester, she told that whenever I looked at her I made her "feel things" which took me as a surprise. I turned her down though since I didn't feel anything for her (though I did and still think she's hot)Now we're in 2nd year, first semester and we're getting closer again, but this time, hugging and hand holding involved which is, to be honest confusing me. Why you might ask? because well, she's rather being around her own friends and it's only occasionally that we end up hanging around. but when we do, I actually enjoy it, but we're so different in every way though! she's very much a party-girl while I'm a calm one (you could even say I'm really quiet and ingoing if you don't know me)but I still like being around her...Another thing that's really going against me right now (which might be nonsense but still....) is that she's got a 2 year old daughter. (yes, she's a single mother...)now, finally my question:From what you're reading, do you guys think I'm developing feelings for her? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2011): ok, thanks for your opinion guys!
I decided to see how things go for now, and maybe then tell her how I feel. if things go well, also to take things slowly
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 June 2011):
 I think you have already developed friendly feelings for her. If you enjoy the contact you have, hugs and hand-holding, and it feels comfortable, you could continue to do this.
Unless her having a child is a deal breaker to you (as in if you want to get married one day and only have children of your own, none from previous relationships). However, a child from a previous relationship is not that unheard of, and fully possible to work around. The relationship will just be different than if she was without children.
Not all relationships start with a BAM! In love, feeling crazy about each other, going wild and nutts after each other and thinking about them every second. A lot of relationships start when two people like each other and have a good time together. Feelings come as the relationship develops. I know many couples who weren't in love when they first got together, but feelings developed as they spent more time with each other and had a relationship together. It could be that way with you as well.
The good thing about not knowing how you feel is that you definitely know you aren't against it! You don't feel sick by the thought of her or anything, you aren't repulsed by the thought of being with her. So you know that you don't have anything against being in a relationship with her, you are just not sure if feelings will develop or not. And there is only one way to find out...
Ask her to take it slow though if you start a relationship. Taking it slow means to wait before you have sex, wait a looong time before you are introduced to family (especially her child) and before you do social things together as a couple. The first few months should only be you and her, and not involving other people. That way you will have time to get to know her better, on a more intimate level.
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A
female
reader, Molly.x  +, writes (29 June 2011):
 Well, It's common to want to spend time with someone for different reasons than having feelings for them.
I think you are over reacting to something that seems to be something that is common. There is no harm in talking to the girl about your feelings, you never know she might be feeling the same. But you didn't mention that you had any sort of attraction to her, and feelings normanlly come with a hole package of attractions. There is no harm in giving the relationship ago if she feels the same way, obviously you would have to speak to her first. But, it sounds to me that you seem to be just good friends, which is always good.
Talk back for more advice.
Molly.x
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