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female
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anonymous
writes: How can I expect to move on if I don't know what I want? I broke up with my guy 6 weeks ago, loved him to bits, we were sex buddies for another month, then he got a girlfriend. He seemed a little confused as he can't seem to decide whether he wants to cut me out of his life or be good friends with me (I say good friends, maybe his 'safety net' as he did cheat on her with me, and I think he knows I'd have him back if he asked). We broke up because he was depressed, but as soon as the burden of the relationship was over he became a completely different person, a bit of an asshole actually. I still love this guy I was with for 4 months, but because he's changed so much I'm confused of my feelings. I still loved him when I was in contact with him 3 weeks ago because he proved to me that he was still the same person, but now we don't ever see each other I don't remember all that stuff that made me love him, and I don't think I love him now but I can't seem to let go. We're talking to eachother over the internet quite a lot, but although he initiated the conversation he's being violent and abrupt with me now because I asked him why all his friends seemed to know all the details of our sex life, and he's angry because of it. If I do still love him then I don't want to move on, I want to wait for his current relationship to end (I can't see it lasting long) and swoop in, knowing him he'll welcome me with open arms. But part of me feels free finally, after putting so much effort into one guy for a year and now it's over I'm exhausted. I'm looking at other guys, but not seriously as it feels too much effort to go through all that with someone else, and I don't feel I could ever feel like that about anyone else again. I've rediscovered my identity, I'm finding time to do the things that I love again but I'm miserable most of the time as I'm getting nothing out of life (unless I'm doing the things that I love). I'm at college and I hate it, but can't quit because I need A levels, but I'm finding everything so hard because I've no longer got him to go home to so he can make it all better, which he was doing for the first 2 months.I'm sorry I know this is all long and not very straightforward, but I need someone on the outside to tell me what I should do to sort my life out, because I really don't see any way out.
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broke up, depressed, move on, my ex, sex life, the internet, violent Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2007): I have recentlt broken up with my fionce of a few years, and my lover and world for 12 years. Since breaking up at the end of october we have had a lot of contact, and i am very grateful to her for this,it makes me happy to see her, or just to speak with her on the phone, you cant expect anyone to 'erase' this sort of relationship, and if either of you belive that there is still something there, it needs to be fought for. i'm fighting hard, too hard. been in and out of hospital numerous times recently for depression/suicide attemtps and taken so many plls that i rattle when i walk. a deciion needs to be made, but in this situation, i think you can both make it, and you both have to have valid input and see each others side, make comprimises and stik to them. anyway, back to the pills, remeber, theres always people in worse situations, even i remember that sometimes.
A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (13 November 2006):
 Ok darling do not panic you'll get out of it but first u need to follow some steps.
1.Anytime u think of him go and do something, ironing, showering, phoning a friend(not to talk about him), go shoppng, sing.....
2. cut down on internet contact, if u're very hang get a day in the middle then 2 days and so on
3.date guys even if you dont like them just for a drimk, it promotes self steem
4, walk to your friends instead of him and take profit of your beloved ones to care and nurture you
5.care yourself, take lons¡g hot aromatherapy baths go to the hairdressesr's, get fit...
6. cry all u need
7, study a lot for your a-levels wether if u have a man o r not they are very important
8. care about your friends mind they have problems too listen to them and forget about yours
9. time will heal you
10 remember u got over this for future time
enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy life is beautiful
good luck
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