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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I have a live-in boyfriend whom used almost all of the first four years being verbally and emotionally abusive, drove two of my children away, lied constantly, and always carried on outside romances and crushes. He abused my credit to 100k, and always screamed about how my 60k net income wasn't shit; I don't carry my weight. He became successful and now supports me. I have carte blanche of his cash, and since I started standing up to him 10 months ago, he has brought his verbal abuse under control. He cut his affairs off, and stopped hanging out at bars and cooks for me constantly. While this is all lovely, it somehow does not erase all the abusive memories, cheating, lying, and destruction. My question is what really is the right thing to do with this new man whom I started seeing last month. After fully disclosing my situation, we saw each other for coffee and lunches, building a great friendship; we get along beautifully and I am so happy.I cannot forgive the man who lives in my house, and I feel no guilt or remorse for being with my new man, because I believe in eye for an eye. I want to be with the new man but am afraid I'll discover he's a psycho too, or something I'm not catching now. My best friend says the new man is a blessing because of the destruction the other one did to my self-esteem and family, and hopes my new guy will be the one whom at least gets the other guy out of my house and life.My question is, how do I dissolve my fears, not suspicions, about this wonderful new man, and second, I am so used to being controlled and afraid of the guy in my house that I don't know how to proceed with evicting him.Your thoughts will be appreciated, and thank you for reading.
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affair, best friend, crush, emotionally abusive Reply to this Question
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female
reader, LLindy87  +, writes (2 July 2010):
 hmm.. your situation is very unique. I feel like you need to kick the other guy out of your house yourself. Be strong. Especially if you want to pursue this new guy.
This new guy probably isn't a psycho either, that's your fears talking to you. At least give him a chance but I am advising you to take care of your other guy situation first.
A
female
reader, sweetsiepie  +, writes (2 July 2010):
 hey hunny right 1st things 1st you've already started what you want by standing up for yourself and with you to living together either ask him to leave or you leave and make a new start for yourself and with the new guy dont hold all the bad things against him because he could be perfect for you not all men are bad we always find the bad men before we get the good and now you deserve a brake so keep standing up for yourself and make the next move either you go or he goes and start a new life hunny x
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