A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I have never been more confused in my life. I am 20 and a sophomore in college. I have been dating my boyfriend "Fred" for 10 months. We met a little over a year ago through work. When I first met Fred I had been dating another guy "Tim" for a little over a year. From the very first day I met Fred I had a crush on him. We talked on facebook all the time and really clicked. Tim knew how often Fred and I talked but I never really told him how I felt about Fred. Then I broke up with Tim and from there things got more serious with Fred. About a month after Tim and I broke up Fred and I started dating. Throughout mine and Fred's relationship I have been going back and forth as to whether I want to be with him or not. (I get confused every time I talk to my ex Tim.) Then I stopped talking to Tim for about 4 months and everything was going great with Fred and I and I didn't have a doubt in my mind and I was happy. Just this week Tim and I started talking again thinking we could be just friends. My roommates and I went to one of his parties and both Tim and I got drunk and talked. He told me that he had met someone else and that he wanted to start dating her. I was instantly jealous and hurt but I knew I had no right to be. From time to time I still miss Tim and what we had. He treated me so well and things were so easy. Then I look at Fred and think about how much I love him and the thought of him not in my life makes me sad. I guess I just don't know what to do. I don't know why I am not over Tim. He really pushed being friends again and I don't really know why. I know that the reason why I still talk to him from time to time is because I am afraid to let him out of my life. I guess I just need an unbiased opinion.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): Your dilemna has a great impact on my emotions. It's like I wrote it. Nine years ago I committed a cardinal sin and fell in love with and had an affair with a married woman. I knew it was a sin. It always made me carry guilt. I was head over heels for her. Midway through I met an unbelievable woman who treated me like I wasGod himself. I was confused as hell. Kept going back and forth but never told my mistress about the other woman. Eventually she found out and would make me feel guilty but at the same time she had no intention of leaving her 28 year marriage. I felt cheated on holidays, weekends, at home alone, just cheated because her husband and family ewas the priority. Long story short, I pushed the other woman away thinking I was okay with just being the other man. Then her husband jobs transfered him to another country and guess what she stayed loyal to him and ended up having an affair with another man in the other country and there I sat and still sit alone 5 years. I made a bad choice. I should have known that when it came down to it I was not the priority. I regret it. I regret not going for the other woman. She really was the woman for me but I threw her away for what? I guess I deserved it. Everyones happy but me. My advice is go with the one who makes you the priority. Don't screw your ownself like I did. I'm wasted years with a woman who I really never had and never will.
A
male
reader, orange_sasquatch +, writes (18 October 2010):
I'm thinking there was a reason for breaking up with Tim. Whatever that reason was, it's probably still valid. You're already with Fred, and you say you guys are good together. Tim wants to date another girl. I'd just suggest staying with Fred for now. Be friends with Tim too, but if you can't be friends with Tim and date Fred, then don't. choose one or the other.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): Who do u feel most comfortable with who can u be ur self with?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): Ask yourself the following questions: Of the two, which one would sacrifice his life to spare yours? Which one shows you the most attention? Which one would continue to hold you upon the pedestal is you lost all of your limbs and your face was burned beyond recognition? You get the point. At a point, and probably soon, you're going to have to make a decision and remain loyal to it, because if not you're going to end up losing both. As you can see one of them is moving forward either because he's tired of your indecisiveness or because he is following through on moving forward because he loves you and doesn't want to infringe upon your happiness.
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