A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a really bad mood with my friend because she is moving. She is going to her bfs country to visit family. I haven't spoke to her in a few weeks because I'm really annoyed and I don't want to lose my friend but I know she will go and I don't want to go back to being friendless. I want to be happy for her because she deserves it. She's not from around this area and moved here a few years ago to save money which was how we met. I don't want to say anything to her because I don't want to ruin things for her. What should I do? I've been ignoring her messages because I just dont know what to say and I'm not in a good mood.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 June 2019):
 You can still be friends even if she lives far away. I have friends from back home from my college days (so 25+ years ago) that I still keep in contact with even though we are 4,000 miles apart. And I made friends while living down South, people I STILL talk to and occasionally visit.
I get that is SUCKS to have your friend move away but it happens, it's not like she is moving to SPITE or HURT you.
So honestly? grow up. And decide if you want her in your life or not. If you do, put on your big girl panties and WISH her well and keep talking.
And after she moved it is UP to you to make new friends.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (18 June 2019):
 Therapy isn’t always needed, WiseowlE, but we shouldn’t dismiss the suggestion of it if the person is struggling because we don’t know of underlying issues they may have. If someone is finding it unusually hard to “summon up maturity” and “press on”, then therapy can help and we shouldn’t try to turn people away from advice encouraging that :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2019): Well, you haven't spoken for a few weeks; so you're getting a head-start in becoming used to her absence. If you can muster-up the will to resort to the silent-treatment; I guess you can (or should) hold that thought!
Therapy isn't always the answer. Sometimes you have to access your maturity and summon-up your best character and positive-attributes that make you a reasonable and rational adult. People leave, and we must press on!
If she isn't responding to this passive-aggressive stunt you're pulling; I suppose she's weaning you off her physical-presence in your life. She can finally breathe, and concentrate on her own life and goals. You're actually helping yourself.
I'm not trying to be cocky or harsh; because I know exactly how you feel. You're loyal, and she's the closest friend you have. It's quality, not quantity! However...who's fault is it that she's the only one you have? She got herself a boyfriend. What about your love-life?
It's a heavy burden to carry, being someone's one and only friend! It can even be suffocating! Unless you're on a remote desert island; then one and only one friend is a god-send! But now it's time to let-go of your girl-Friday and ride-or-die buddy! It feels like someone just died! I know...because I've been there and I've done that. It hurts deep inside. No words really can describe it.
I'm sorry you're losing a good-friend. In these days and times, people have lost the ability to interact through human-connections, and relate on a personal-basis. They are used to, or even prefer, just maintaining contact between digital-devices. They'll have a phone in their hands; while you're sitting there face-to-face.
Life goes on! Maybe it is time you seek some new friends or romantic-interests. You should never keep all your eggs in one basket. If there is something in your personality that makes it hard to meet new people or to hang-on to friends; this is a golden-opportunity for some introspection and self-improvement. When you have difficulty making or keeping friends; then you need work. Your alternative is loneliness.
Now you have reason to travel. You'll have someone based in another country to be your travel-guide; and to introduce you to a new culture and their customs. That will also broaden your horizons. You may become a lone-traveler and explorer of sorts!
Loneliness and stagnation will motivate you to become more sociable and outgoing. Or, you'll become a hermitess in your stubborn solitude. You do have a choice.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (17 June 2019):
OP, I understand that you’re sad about losing your friend, but you’re not being a good friend. Most friends support each other through this time, not ignore them for weeks!
You also just say she is going to his country to visit family.... is she moving there or not?
Please speak to your friend. You can say you’ll miss her, then move on and be supportive. She probably NEEDS your support and you’re ignoring that. You can also keep in touch if she moves.
Also, I think therapy would help you process this and make new friends.
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