A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been in and out of a relationship with my daughter's dad. Things would be good and then, his actions beg to differ. I would ask him what's wrong? What's on your mind? and the list goes on. Then he'll bring up the past. To make a long story short, I took him to court for full custody of our daughter. A few months later, he gave up his rights. He blames me constantly for it in which I have no idea how I did but he does. Then we get into an argument. Then it starts all over. I am tired of it. He would start and then I won't say anything. It just keeps going and going. Then I told him to leave me alone because I am done with this. I thought we were going to start all over and leave the past in the past but unfortunately, you didn't. I've tried and tried but it isn't working. He keeps coming back. I ignore his text messages and calls. What else should I say to end this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDivonLestat: It's not easy being a single parent. He's given up his rights because (his words) he was worried about what I was doing. He have two other kids he needed to pay attention to. He was stressed out. Before court came along, things weren't going so well. He got kicked out of the Navy when he only had two more years before he retired. He lost all benefits, pention plan, medical...etc. He had to start all over. I took general custody for his two kids from his previous marriage while he served his time in the briggs (military jail) while I was pregnant and carrying a full time job. He's the one stressed out, I was the one stressed out.
I've put the past in the past however, I will never forget him cheating on him. Trying to trust again, is hard.
I've been raising my daughter for two years with the help of my family. They have helped him tremendously. He comes around once in a blue moon but I am going to put an end to it. My daughter is asking questions of where her dad is? why is daddy go bye bye? is he coming back? He's been doing this for the past couple years and it's getting to the point where I see my daughter hurting. I've tried to make things work regarding our daughter, going to the park, etc however, he's always going to the past. It's not about the past. It's about our daughter.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): This man is now your ex and should no longer be in a personal relationship with you. I'm concerned about your child stuck in the middle of all of this. You don't say why you went for sole custody, because in an ideal world you should share custody of your child together. This seems to be a sore spot for him, and if he's a loving father, it's natural that he would be upset with this. I don't understand why he is now willing to give his parental "rights". Could be that he thinks that this will make things easier for you and help improve the relationship. I don't know you didn't say.
You need to stop going over the past and both turn your attention to your child. You need to work together as parents to give her the best possible chance in life. Tell your ex that your relationship is over and make arrangements with him to be the best parents you can.
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