A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello everybody-i would really appreciative if anyone would give my a honest assessment of what is going on !I met a guy 4 months ago, he is friend of a friend. He was really nice and sweet to me. he added me on social site and showed interest in getting to know me. i blew his conversations off many times, as i was not interested in dating at the time.I am recovering from a major depressive episode (as a result of divorce and trauma) and i have just wanted to be alone and work on my recovery. Finally i told him that, to scare him off really, but he didn't find my health issues of putting at all, said he understood. He even said that he was looking for a woman like me in his life .so i june i finally gave him my number and he started texting me these sweet things, cant wait to see you and so on. Again i blew him off at first, but finally i thought he must really like me so we had a date.I was really surprised at how smart, funny and understanding he was and we really connected. he talked about all the things he wanted us to do together and so on. so we had a second date-and we ended up in bed - again he was really sweet whispering sweet pillow talk to me-how beautiful i was-this is a perfect night and so on-i was again surprised(i have convinced myself that i am unlovable)but happybut i did notice that he could barley look me in the eyes and when i asked him about that he just laughed. ok so the next morning we woke up and were just chatting in bed. its like he had changed personality's, he was so distant, and started talking about how he was not looking for a relationship, he always got to lost in them he would be better off alone. he was not affectionate in the morning but chatted with me, he seemed completely closed off. He gave me a really weak goodbye kiss and then said we will talk later.that was a week ago and i have not heard from him-and i have not contacted him either because he rejected me still in my warm bed !! my girlfriends think that i have just been played or met the biggest loser on the planet. I am really confused as i have never in my life been treated like this. So my question is-are there really people out there how act like this just too sleep with someone? i feel so humiliated and ashamed-this could cause me to take a depressive dive :/what could cause somebody to change their mind overnight? not so long ago he was in a long term relationship actually so maybe i was just a rebound?i am so sad
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2012): unfortunately, it sounds like this guy was only looking for a hookup. it's natural to question why someone would seemingly change their mind over-night, and to wonder what you'd done wrong. but the simpler, more practical explanation is that he never changed his mind - he already knew all along he wasn't looking for anything serious. he knew he was looking for sex.
don't allow yourself to let a scumbag like that send you into another bout of depression. you did nothing wrong. try to hold you head up high. and definitely continue not to call him. delete him from your phone and from your social networking site. you'll have him out of your mind in no time. best of luck. and remember: you did nothing wrong.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2012): Yes, there are shitheads like that. You were played. Next time, go with your GUT instinct, the one that was telling you to blow his conversations off and such, because your gut really does know a lot.
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