A
male
age
36-40,
*ajroo7
writes:i cant be happy in my life there are too many responsibles on me that made me so busy to find a girl is fit to me and i feel that my friends ignore meand i cant tell them about this?thank you Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (23 May 2007):
 If your friends ignore you, they aren't friends. As far as not having time, I know people who work 70 hours a week, maintain their bills, and still make time to take out his wife and kids at least once a week. It's all about scheduling. Take control of your life. Go to your boss, and tell him that you need a little personal time every week. As far as finding a girl, let life take it's course. The best relationships begin when you fall for a girl that you never planned to meet. Life is going to hand you what it will, and you should do more to enjoy the ride. We've all got responsibilities, but they need to be balanced with fun to keep us healthy and sane.
DV1
A
female
reader, Nizza  +, writes (23 May 2007):
Hi there
You need to be assertive, learn from the assertive peopl's books. Maybe you spend too much time alone and people start to think you a are not sociable....
not because there is anything.... start going out more, start to mix yourself with people as much as you can, but do not compromise. You should learn to know when is the time to be yourself, i.e. not focus too much on your responsibilities,
People might be feeling you reject them. If you have people around you, you can delegate your responsibilities, sometimes life is not difficult as it appears at face value.
Worry less, and just date, show interest in your girlfriends, keep explaining your situation to them and make sure they trust you. Make them very secure in a relationship, by being friendly and ask them for their opinions.
Do not be paranoid and do bot make anyone suspicious either
Thats if having people around you is important.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2007): Hi there
I agree with Frank B. iF YOU do not certain things as your priority then you will never expect any good outcomes, what you put in is what you get out. When we grow older relationships become shallower, people are glued into their own personal matters. If you cant reach out to them they also feel rejected by you and decide to not bother.
Women really like attention from their men. I am going thru the same problem where my man just does not have any time to spend with me. I grow nauseous everytime he mentions he is busy as if I have nothing to do myself.
If you take your work as your priority, think about these worst case scenarios. You need people in your life right. You need to allow people to know who you are, commiting to your work is just one excuse to be away from love ( people) Im sure you are a shy person who wd rather focus on work than to be with friends, to protect your low self esteem from being exposed.
Think about it, one day you are at your job, then you get sick or you fall imagine where you are gonna get help. People will start giving you the same xcuses that you are giving them. What if they tell you they are also busy with their lives...
If you are silent to the world it also forgets you. Im sure people feel like you are a cold person, or maybe too ecentric or maybe living in your own world, they would rather not bother
...............................
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (23 May 2007):
 Firstly it is about PRIORITIES. If you really want a girlfriend, you must make time for it a priority. It is not normal that a man of your age would not be interested in women enough to make it a priority. Your friends ignore you becuase they do not beleive a man would NOT make having a woman a priority UNLESS he was not interested in women. Thus, they probably are suspious that you are either gay or asexual. Not having time, is simply not a good enough excuse. It is called "creative avoidence". Maybe you are too nervous or scared of sex with women, or you do not have enough experience to feel comfortable with women...whatever the case, your friends do not beleive the excuse you are using, and thus feel they can not trust you.
-Frank B Kermit
franktalks.com
...............................
|
