A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this guy but he lives in another town. I am very unsure of what he wants and I don't think he even knows. He tells me that he wants to move by me to work, but he wants to stay living where he is because that is where his family and kids are. He has been divorced for like eight months. He had me meet his family and talks about being together in the future, but he hooked up with his x-girlfriend. I know he isn't happy with her, but it is convient because she lives there. I think he wants to be with me but isn't ready for a serious relationship. I don't know if I need to just give him space and time to figure out what he wants, or just tell him how I feel about him? Also, I don't know if I should try to move by him this summer or try to talk him into living by me? When I am with him he is so sweet and he always calls me, but he doesn't move here and hasn't asked me to be in a relationship. It is just hard because the more I see him the more feelings I have for him. I am scared of getting hurt again but feel like he is the right person for me. Should I talk to him or just give this time?
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male
reader, JockoJ +, writes (10 April 2009):
Honestly if it were me I'd totally put myself out there and if I got her I got hurt and I'd enjoy every minute of it. I used to be timid and afraid of getting hurt, but now I'll even let people use me fully knowing they're doing it. I just put myself out there 100% all the time and I've found it very rewarding.
However some people aren't at that point yet, and a psychological trauma could have serious consequences to them. You didn't mention how long you've been dating him. But if it's been long enough, I'd have a serious talk with him, decide what you want, what you need etc. If he can't give you what you need from him don't hang around. You'll just make both of you miserable as he continues to hurt you and your self respect goes down. I've been the guy that wasn't able to give a girl what she needed for two years and it was horrible. I spent more time dealing with her being upset than anything.
Good luck.
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