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female
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anonymous
writes:dear cupids, i know this boy called *john* and he is in my class at school he says he fancys me and i like him alot but he has a repuation as a serial heart breaker he says that if we went out he wudnt hurt me but im scared hes going to. he goes out wiv girls thn dumps thm for no reason i like him alot but i dnt wnt to be hurt. wat can i do??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2007): Awwa sweetie...
I fell in love with a serial heartbreaker right out of high school...but I wouldn't date him because he wouldn't call me and ask me out properly. I live in a small town and I would see him everywhere, and have shared lifetime friends with him. When his friends have questioned his intentions he denies that he cares. He has spent his life tring to make me jealous, or tring to get me to pay attention to him in some very strange ways, which has broke my heart everytime. Every woman he's ever been with have come to me to tell me he's really in love with me. Recently he came to me and told me and told me that he can't make his other relationships work because he's still in love with me. I'm not claiming I understand his behavior..but I'm telling you, date him, stand your ground on what you believe in appropriate...but date him. You don't want to be standing around 18 years later still scratching your head, like me. Life even with it's mistakes will work out better if you take the risks and live the life you've been dealt. Don't worry that everyone else will wonder why you would choose to date such a heartbreaker...we really can't stop ourselves from being in love with those we love. I would have done it completely differently if I were young again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2006): Ummm, this is a difficult one with an easy answer. I agree to just taking the risk, but at the same time, not every person deserves to be loved. Oooh, I can feel the glaring eyes me way. Hey, I'm just being realistic coupled with experience.
So with that said, the thing I always say about the dating game is that it's all about trial and error. If a person continues be heart-broken a thousand times over his/her life, then that person is basically someone who doesn't learn at all. That person can also be viewed as being brave and stupid. However, what love isn't? It's chance. If you don't take it, you might ponder on it forever and ever and ever, until it drives you crazy like more than half the people who post their dilemmas here. On the other hand, if you go for him/her, and you know that this person is infamous for his deeds of continuous break-ups for whatever reason, then you have to think deeply - "Do I want to take that chance to get heart-broken by a potential bastard, or do I shove his negatives aside, and just go for it?"
The thing is, you don't know, until you've tried. Love like everything else is a risk. If you don't want to play the game, then fine, you risk nothing but potential loneliness in that realm. If you want to take the chance and possibly get somewhere with someone, then do it. In the end, it's all about compatibility, balance, comprehension, tactics, communication, and compromise.
Cheers.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2006): I took a chance on a guy with a reputation similar to your guy's when I was 15, and although he did break my heart once, we got back together and still love eachother very much now. I think it's all about chance as to whether the guy will live up to his reputation or not, but more than likely he will break your heart. Take the chance if he's worth the risk, but be careful because heartbreak is the worst feeling in the world.
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