A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:It doesn't matter what I do, my mother never seems to care. I play flute and I'm getting good at it, I taught myself to play piano and I get decent grades at school. But she doesn't care at all. I'm lucky if I get a very quiet 'well done' from her when I get an A or play a piece in a concert. She also has a habit of turning everything against me. Like yesterday, the puppy jumped onto the windowsill just as my mother was coming back. The puppy had broken the blinds, and my mother went crazy, screaming at me and saying it was all my fault because I didn't stop her in time. She makes me feel really worthless about myself, and we very rarely speak to one another. I spoke to my godmother about this and she took my side and said a lot of nice things, like how proud she was of me for having such an intelligent god daughter etc. I don't want to talk to my mother, but can anyone suggest anything I could say or do when she starts screaming at me again?Thank you very much for all your help (sorry, I know it is long!). Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, QueenB gossip girl  +, writes (31 July 2008):
hey there, If your mother keeps doing this it is a sign that she's hurting, when looking at her past and the abuse she has suffered i think that she doesn't exactly know how to show affection or love in ways that you would think, i believe that she could find shouting at you a way of communicating because she doesn't know anything more because it sounds like she never experienced the love or affection from her family either. It is no excuse for her to be shouting at you or making you feel like you are worthless because you are not at all, from the sounds of it you are an extremely talented young girl who has a very loyal and understanding God mother who you can talk to when things get out of hand. What i will tell you is that when your mother does shout at you again try to make her open up to you, do what Annalisa recommended and try to hug her she might break down and start talking to you properly if she doesn't go and talk to your god mother again and see what she can do to help. xxxx Queen B good luck :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell my mother was put into care when she was my age (15) so I'm guessing she only does it from bad experience. Her mother was an alcoholic and her father used to hit her, and I feel very sorry for her. But I was abused by my step father, and ever since that got out she was ok with me for a while. But now she just doesn't even try and be nice to me. Thanks to Annalisa and Emilysanswers! Great help and I really appreciate that you are willing to help :D
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (31 July 2008):
I think you did the right thing talking to your godmother and I really would be surprised if she didn't have a word with your mum.
I think Annalisa is right that she is taking her own problems out on you, so when she's shouting just let her finish and then walk away. Don't take it personally, just keep telling yourself that your mum is a shouty person. You can talk to her about it when she's calm of just pretend you are Cinderella and hide in your room.
Unfortunately we can't always depend on our parents to be that loving family we crave, but I firmly believe that you can make your own family out of your friends. You are getting good grades so the good news is that as soon as you get those A-Levels, you can be out of the door and off to uni.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
|
