A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was in a great relationship for almost two years. I found what I believed to be the perfect woman for me. We discussed engagement seriously. Even though it hasn't happened yet, we were to that point. Once she felt it was a sure thing, she began taking me for granted and doesn't feel she needs to give me time or attention and puts me as a lower priority than her friends. It would be easy to reverse her thinking I am a sure thing, but won't she just do it again in the future? I mean if shes like this now I could only imagine it being worse in marriage. Any advice? Please help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CarrieMagdelene +, writes (22 January 2007):
 I hope my boyfriend doesn't think I'm taking him for granted after reading that. :( When women (this is 97% or so of the time) get comfortable in a relationship, it's usually after confirming thier feelings to you and having them returned. This also happened when I knew that he was only interested in me. I didn't feel like I had to kiss his feet and dote on him hand and foot. He would say something like 'Go get me a soda, babe?' and I'd hop to it. He'd say 'go turn up the TV' and I'd get up from laying half asleep with a half-forced smile and turn it up. I wanted to be helpful, yes, and I enjoy catering to him...But now that we're deep into our relationship, it's like 'Are your legs broke?' or 'Get it yourself. And get me one too.'
I don't feel differently towards him, I just feel differently towards our relationship. It's not a challenge to interest him anymore. He's interested enough.
Friends are important at times like this, when you need someone to talk to. Even if she's psyched about the engagement, she's going to ask a friend for advice and talk. Nothing personal, trust me, but girls need to talk to girls and/or other people in genereal. I don't really have any close friends to ask, and mother's out of the question for most things, but we have to talk to other people! My boyfriend is one of those 'la la la la can't hear you. Blah blah blah, still can't hear you' when I bring up things he doesn't want to talk about or he doesn't seem interested in girl-talk. Getting it?
Girls need friends.
Hope this helps!
-Carrie
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (21 January 2007):
 Are you sure she's not just getting comfortable in the relationship and maybe not trying as hard to imprss you as she once was? Some people when they get engaged spend less time with their partners because they have their whole life to spend together and attention is hard to judge. You shouldn't need her attention to be happy, just her consideration. If you feel she's not giving you that then speak to her about it but it sounds just like your relationship has settled slightly.
CD
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