A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I just ended a relationship 2 months ago of a man whom I truly loved but who was not honest about who he was - in fact he was all likes. It was truly devastating to me. Since then I have met someone else (actually I went to school with 10 years ago and just moved to my state). I think the guy is great but I am afraid to have things move too fast because I was deeply crushed. He on the other is trying to move things along too quickly and now he is taking it as I am not interested in him. But I am. I explained this to him 2 months ago so we took it slow even though he did not want to. Because of what happened in my past relationship which consumed a year of my life - which was lies and emotional upheaval for me - I just want to take things slow. I can't take another breakdown. He thinks I just don't like him - but I do. I am just being cautious - I do not want to set myself up for another fall. How can I relay this to him without losing him. He is very upset now. I think he is great in every way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): On one hand I can certainly agree with you for being cautious! Believe me I have been there. But on his side of things it probably feels like you are punishing him for something someone else did to you. You will have to come out and explain everything to him and why you are being cautious. But also you will need to start letting him in. Even if slowly. If it doesnt show that you are making progress then he will get discouraged. I know its hard to do but not all men are out to hurt us believe me. You have to start to rebuild and trust again or you will just keep going through the same thing! I wish you the best of luck.
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