A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im very scared to date. im a 19 year old virgin who is lonely bu i think i suffer from low self esteem. i had one bf in highschool he broke up with me cuz we didnt sleep together n lied about sleepin with me that has caused me major trust issues cuz i figure all guys do that. (put on a show to boost their ego in front of their friends) now i know it may not be true. but he was my first bf. i no longer talk to him but even wen a guy i talk to flirts to soon wit me i would just shut down and tell him i only wanna be friends cause i always assume the worst. yes my first bf made me very paranoid about that, and i do hear vulgar comments that guys make about females in general. i would like to stay a virgin for a long time till marriage or at least till i fall in love. but ive been sooo lonely for sooo long i feel if i do let my guard down n meet a guy n after idk after 6 months he wants sex ill give into him from the fear of being forver lonely. i know i may sound crazy but i deal wit this everytime a guy tries to talk to me or i see a couple. how do i get over this paranoia n how would i know when i meet the right one?
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broke up, flirt, self esteem Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2010): Sex alone can get a guy to touch you and tell you lies for a while. But it can't make someone care about you or love you. If you use sex as a substitute for love you'll be sorry in the long run.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): It sounds like you value your virginity. Hang on to that. Don't feel pressure to have sex with someone just because of a fear of being alone. When you meet a man that truly loves and respects you, he will not push you into having sex with him. He will wait until you are ready, no matter when that might be. Just because you don't want to jump into sex, does not mean you will be alone forever. Of course, there is the possibility that you will really fall in love with someone and want to give it up to this man but only do that if you're sure it's what you want! When you're with the right man, he will make you feel good about yourself and he won't put you down. In return, your self esteem could improve knowing that someone loves you for exactly who you are.
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A
male
reader, Wayne0  +, writes (24 March 2010):
Sex is never the answer its just the act that people do. So follow what your heart says and you shall be at peace
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