A
male
age
26-29,
*am Wilson
writes: So here I'm finished with college , single , and thinking of leaving my job. It all started after she left me (and yes i get how stupid this is) she was with me for so long I "changed" because of her and now she's gone; my parents and closest friends insisting that it was because I was still immature. I never felt this selfish before but I feel like if I continue with my work I'll never be my own man again... never meet the one and be stuck all alone (and no one would like that). I feel like i just need more time to be stupid, to look for myself and a new interest, because every time I look around I'll always feel like a kid...and having a girlfriend made me feel like an adult when she left i felt a part of me gone away the responsible side, the one that made me feel like a better person. I've been absent at work for more than a week now and i do not know if its because of my loneliness or immaturity. I need someone to snap me out of this because clearly I need to change...but I can't just to the cliched do it for yourself bit.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2015): You say you can't do it for yourself bit, this is defeatist talk, before we even start. Defeated at 18-21, wow! you astound me, a young man who has the world at his feet and does not even know it.
Would you rather us take the approach of wrapping you in cotton wool, and patting you on the head saying 'things will be alright just hang in there sweetie.
You do have to do this yourself (cliched, as you say)
It's because you have caved in at one of life's knocks.
I remember those day's, when the knocks came and i could hardly stand, and because of this I lost good opportunities and I also let other people down,and above all, I let myself down, all because i couldn't face things.
Adults have to learn to pick themselves up again, shake themselves down, put on the old boots again and get right back in the ring.
Are you a type of person who stays down for the count? I doubt it, or i hope not because you have the ability to achieve many things in your life if you fight for it.
When you understand that there is a pretty good chance that you may receive many knocks throughout your life time,as many of us do, so it's pointless crumbling at the first punch, be in it to win at life and show your maturity and get back up.
If your lucky you will still have a job, please don't lie to your boss, he is not stupid(that is probably why he is your boss) tell him the truth and take it from there, make the time up in overtime, but get your ass back to your adult commitment of work. Some people are so upset at not been able to get employment, it's not right to abuse it.
If you loose your job, another little knock, then learn from it, it does not pay to stay down too long, should have faced the world. Plan a new career if needs be, but don't sink further down feeling sorry for yourself.
Who ever said life would be a bed of roses? You did, your choice.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 October 2015):
 I think it's more immaturity than loneliness, to be really frank. Or maybe there is a touch of depression going on.
You are over 18 so it's TIME to act like on. You can't rely on a GF to "make" you behave like an adult, and adult with responsibilities. The whole "I just wanna have fun" well that doesn't work well for an adult. How are you going to pay your bills? live? I supposed you expect your parents to pick up the slack?
I know that is not what you want to hear, but if you think it could be depression, go see your doctor. You can't just stay at home and hide.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 October 2015):
 You've been absent from your workplace for more than a week now?
Sam, if you are unhappy at work then don't stay in the job.
You may not even have a job at this point.
If you are overwhelmed and unable to cope following a breakup then you really need to reach out to people around you who can help. If you can't discuss this with your friends or your family then please call your doctor and tell them what is happening.
Call HR at work first thing tomorrow.
What happens now could affect you for the future so make some smart choices.
If you don't feel capable of acting rationally then talking to your doctor should be at the very top of your priority list! If you don't have a doctor, get one! Call friends for a referral ASAP!
Best wishes.
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