A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 24, single, have worked hard and got a good position in an "ok" company, but I feel totally unfulfilled and to be honest, lonely. I split from my last main partner 2 years ago and have been on dates but nothing has lasted or made me "fall in love". I just feel completely lost at the moment and would love to know if anyone else have felt the same and how they got through it. I've tried going out more, I've tried throwing myself into work but slowly but surely I'm becoming a workaholic with no outside "me" time and I'm disliking even my job. I'd love to meet someone new, but nights out, dates through friends and dating websites have just become more of a hassel deciphering what people really want!Any suggestions for someone whos a workaholic singleton who lacks direction? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Cateyes  +, writes (27 June 2007):
 Hey sweetie....don't tear yourself down!!! Heard of a song called.."That's What Friends Are For"? Well, thats excatly what they are for. Stop thinking of a boyfriend, or just a man to be in your life..when the time is right, he will show up. Right now is the time to have as much fun with all your friends. Do things you'd probably never do, take a trip and it sounds like your burned out on your job. Start looking for a new one maybe and who knows, you might be giving yourself a raise and not work as many hours to spend more time having fun with your friends which could eventually lead you to meeting someone new in your life, but just don't dwell on it. I just turned 41, I have been divorced for 11 years. I have had on and off relationships, but I don't dwell on thinking I have to have a man in my life. I do well financially because I put alot of time and effort in my early 30's to work hard to become successful where I would not have to depend on a man's paycheck to support all my home bills, etc. Do I want a man in my life? Of course, I miss having "that" kind of a relationship and someone to come home to that I would love dearly, BUT, I don't spend time thinking about. I spend time thinking what can I do next and what would I enjoy on my weekends or where can I go for a mini vacation. There are so many things for you to enjoy at this stage in your life. Do it now, because when you get older, you might not have that opportunity. (Especially when you do get married)
You'll be fine....trust me!!! Best Wishes to you!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2007): I think you are going through a common thing for your age group, your job may be unfullfilling to you because you are paying your dues, no one really gives you any money or responsibility until you are in your mid 30's....sometimes in order to progress at your age, you need to change companies, depending on what it is you do.
It is easy to feel like a workaholic if you don't work smart instead of smarter, try to get organized, and put yourself on a schedule at home for getting chores done, free up your weekends or your days off, call someone ahead of time and make a date to do something fun, even if you have to be the one footing the bill, and you will gain more rest and relaxation which relieves stress.
Don't blame your discontent on your lack of a love life, you don't need a relationship to be happy, I know, I have been single for quite some time now....and I love the things I am into and enjoy being single most of the time...if you are happy and secure in yourself it shows and that is the best man magnet there is, self confidence and a certain joy for life....so get busy improving yourself, and stop wallowing, you are only 20 something once and you should not be wasting it worrying and being unhappy.....this is also a time in your life you need to be doing weight bearing excercise (anything that you use your own body as weight, swim, run, bicycle, aerobic excercise) as it will build bone density which you lose the ability to do after age 30, it will keep you young in your elder years, plus excercise relieves stress, you are mentally tired, physical tired is much better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2007): Hi - I've not been in exactly your shoes but I've been very close. I hit the '30' crisis that a lot of people do and started questioning everything from friends to work to my social life. Firstly I would suggest a book to re-focus - its called "Your best year yet" (not sure of the author) its not a heavy book you can work through it easily in a day. I'm very cynical about self help stuff but this is a spring clean for your head. Secondly someone who was obviously more astute than I realised once said to me 'if you took your foot off the gas you'd probably be working at the same pace as everyone else' and they were right. It took complete burn out and depression to get me to realise it. There is a lot of social pressure to meet the right person and a lot less on simply having fun in your life. I don't know whether you're into dancing or quite like the idea of it but would highly recommend Ceroc if you haven't already tried it. Its a bit less 'in your face' than Salsa and the men are very polite but there is no pressure to have a date everyone is just having a great time - have a look at ceroc.com website. It is easy when you are a workaholic not to treat yourself well. If you really are losing it with your job and its not helping your life in general consider a change - it doesn't have to be a whole step - maybe just experiment with short courses. Sorry my help is purely practical but I think once you are happier with your life you will attract what you want in it. Does that make sense? Best of luck x
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A
female
reader, FoxyR  +, writes (26 June 2007):
 hi
I think that you are hurrying to find love. Love is meant to come to you naturally. May it be in your 60s but you will find love. And when it comes, you'll know. Your still young and you should go with the flow. There are pleanty of fish of in the sea. Work can be stressful but at times it could have nothing to do with your conquests.
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