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female
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*ami
writes: My previous question was "Are my husband and female bartender just friends or is there something going on? This was tagged "Three's a crowd" The reader's responses were very helpful but my next question is -next summer when we go to our cabin and I go home for work for a week or so and leave him there, do I trust that nothing will happen between them? We had a talk and he admitted to being wrong when he called her several times on her cell phone and denies any sexual relationship. He promised to never call again but she probably will still be working at the bar that he goes to. What do I do next? Reply to this Question Share |
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2005): What! Next summer?! Why dont take the next 7 months to work on your relationship so this isnt an issue.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2005): I've been in this situation. People say "give someone enough rope and they will hang themselves" and you may like to trust to his better nature and hope he doesn't stray. Please don't do this. Don't give him the rope and he might not even think about using it! Make a firm stand and let him know you won't tolerate this. Maybe you should think about what he might be getting from her friendship that is lacking in his friendship with you. If you give him the space to do something bad he might think you're not bothered and begin giving her friendship a meaning it doesn't deserve. My wife let me continue a frinedship with a female friend, which almost ended in disaster for us all. She said I was spending too much energy on her, but didn't say she was jealous, or hurting, or concerned I would stray. If she had I probably would have been shocked into a change of mind, and not fooled myself that it was just an innocent friendship and everything was hunky dory with all parties. Guys can be really stupid sometimes, or real bastards. I think I was very stupid, and I hope yours is just a stupid one too! Best of luck to all.
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female
reader, shania +, writes (16 November 2005):
Oh no! alarm bells are ringing in my ears.You will be offering your husband on a plate to that floosie. Please,please,please, dont do it.I bet the minute you are out the door,her knickers will be around her ankles.Im sorry if that sounded crude,but i know for a fact that once your out of the picture she will take every opportunity to snare your man.Yes,your husband might mean every word he says at the time but i get the feeling that he is weak and easily persuaded in to anything,if hes asked nicely.I say there is a sexual spark there between them two,why are you too trusting? Another thing that bothers me,you and your hubby havent been married very long but already infidelity has raised its ugly head.Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this man? If you had to write in with this ongoing problem then i think you know the answer already.
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