A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I got married to a man I hardly knew two year s ago after coming out of an abusive relationship. The attention from this man made me feel reassured and I feel that I allowed myself to be manipulated into a quick marriage also due to social pressures (from my church). However my husband has never lived with me (he lives in New York) despite the fact that we have a child together. He says its his job that stops him from moving to England. Two years on and I am starting to feel stronger in myself, that I do not need this man in my life and that I do not, and I may never have loved him. The long distance thing gets on my nerves, especially since when he does visit, he does little to help around the house and does not really seem to care about all the pressure I am under as a single working mother. He does not give me any money either, saying that he is working towards our future, but I have no proof of this. Is there anyone out there who would sitck this kind of relationship out?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): You are in an unbelievable situation! For all you know, he could be living a double life and have a family in the states as well! How can he refuse to support his wife and child? That's rediculous! What are YOU gaining from this relationship? As far as I'm concerned, he is a deadbeat dad!
I agree you should go with your gut! You're making it on your own anyway! File for divorce and child support and be done with this loser! If you could aford to do so, it would be great to hire an investigator to do a background check! There are companies online that do that for you! I don't know what the cost is but it's worth looking into.
Infact I would even ask for spousal support since he hasn't given you any during the marriage!
I wouldn't stay married to this guy for another minute! When you marry, it is to share your lives together. He hasn't shared his life with you at all! And yet, you have shared yours! Not Right! One more thing...is this guy American or Brittish? Could he have possibly wanted to get dual citizenship or any other ulteria motive??? There's gotta be a hidden agenda here!
Keep me posted...privately if you prefer.
Britt
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (7 December 2008):
I think you need to ask him seriously what there is in it for you to stick around.
He doesn't provide for you, he doesn't make you feel valued or loved.
Tell him he needs to move to the UK and be a proper husband or that you are better off without him.
And get a new church. Any group that pushes you into something that is not right is not a group you should be a part of.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, RoseRead +, writes (7 December 2008):
I think that you are seriously questionning this relationship already. You have given yourself many reasons to leave this man. My advice is to follow your instincts. Tell him how you feel, tell him the long distance and lack of financial support are problems. If these can no longer be resolved, you need to take advice and make steps towards leaving him.
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